If you like sports even a little, fall is the most wonderful time of the year. In this holiest of seasons, balls of every shape and size are being hurled from pockets, into hoops, and at some guy holding a stick. It’s magical and perfect. And if you’re like me, sometimes you like to enjoy a game or two with lots of drinking in the company of increasingly emotional strangers—namely, at a sports bar.
But let’s not forget that age-old question:
“Can you even eat anything here?”
—That guy you hang out with for some reason
The answer, of course, is “yes, I can eat many things here.” Here are a few tips for making your next sports bar trip animal-friendly:
1. Scout It Out
Make like the Patriots and find out exactly what to expect before you go. Does the sports bar have a veggie burger? Gardein wings? A zone blitz? The best part is that your scouting won’t be a violation of league rules. Hooray!
2. Potatoes Are Safe
When in doubt, get some spuds. Every sports bar worth going to carries multiple iterations of potato-based goodness. I’m a tot person myself, but you do you, OK?
3. Beer Is Good
Independent studies confirm that beer tastes good. Lucky for us, most beer is made without the use of animal parts. If you’re not sure, check out our favorite beer site of all time, Barnivore.
4. Be Cool
Make sure that the wait staff know you as “the cool vegan” and not “the awful vegan who gives me an excuse to disregard animal rights.” Most servers and chefs will know what vegan food is, but if not, be patient. If you’re feeling frustrated, eat another tot. Mmmmmm.
Follow these four steps, and your next sports bar experience will be stress-free. Unless your team does what your team always does and chokes at the worst possible moment. Just me? Sorry.
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