With Valentine’s Day around the corner, PETA has a message for anyone on the way to Climax, Horneytown, or Intercourse—that is, those communities in Georgia, North Carolina, and Pennsylvania, respectively: If you want to heat things up in the bedroom, try going vegan. We’re negotiating with outdoor advertisers near the provocatively named, er, hot spots to erect this sassy billboard:
PETA’s cheeky Valentine’s Day ad is a reminder that what goes on in the kitchen affects what goes on in the bedroom. Physicians and nutritionists agree that the best way to prevent artery blockage as well as multiple other conditions that cause impotence is to eat a diet high in fiber, including plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. These foods will scrub the plaque off the arterial walls to get your blood flowing and your love life going.
Each person who eats vegan also prevents more than 100 animals a year from atrocities like being branded; being castrated; having their beaks, tails, and toes cut off without any anesthetics; and being scalded to death in slaughterhouses or gutted alive on fishing boats.
Here are some tips for jump-starting your love life.