Holy Castrated Concrete! PETA Wants to Help Snip Embarrassing Barriers

Is that a bollard, or are you just happy to see me? Modest Scott Township, Pennsylvania, residents have been blushing because of newly erected traffic barriers on city streets that some claim resemble, ahem, wayside weenies. The controversy has reached such a fever pitch that some city commissioners have even suggested performing a sort of extreme circumcision, if you will, on the protuberances. If it comes to that, PETA has a novel idea for funding the change—mounting this public service announcement on the offending phalluses:

It’s a hard fact: The saturated animal fat and cholesterol in meat, eggs, and dairy products clog the arteries leading to all your organs, not just your heart. But the good news is that heart disease—and erectile dysfunction—can often be prevented or even reversed by eating healthy vegan foods. Going vegan can also eliminate impotence associated with side effects of heart disease medications.

Who needs Viagra when all you have to do is eat your veggies?

Learn how to go vegan here.