91 Thoughts We Had While Watching ‘Okja’

Published by Zachary Toliver.

1. Damn, Tilda Swinton. For a quick second, I thought I was watching The Hunger Games.

2. Mirando is like this universe’s Conglom-O.

3. “Now the rotten CEOs are gone.” Movie speak for “The rotten CEOs are totally not gone.”

4. The unseen sister being roasted in the speech in the first minute of this film couldn’t possibly have a fundamental role in the plot.

5. How in the hell did super-pigs just go unnoticed in Chile all this time?

6. Hey, it’s the guy from Breaking Bad. What’s his name? This dude frequently plays roles that scream, “Something sinister is going down!” Dead giveaway.

7. I’m going to hate Jake Gyllenhaal’s character, Dr.  Johnny Wilcox. I just know it.

8. You know how super-pigs could leave even less of an impact on the environment? Don’t raise them for food AT ALL.

9. Now I remember that actor played Gus on Breaking Bad.

10. Googled it. His name is Giancarlo Esposito. He played one of Malcom X’s assassins in the biopic. Seriously, so many sinister roles.

11. And here comes Okja! The CGI in this movie is next level.

12. If we can make imaginary animals look like this, why in the world is it legal to use live animals in movies and television?

13. It’s as if Hungry Hungry Hippos came to life and helped you with grabbing snacks.

14. Wagging her tail, begging for food, creating memories with her human. Okja is like a giant dog.

15. I guess pigs do all that stuff, too, when given the chance. So, OK, she’s like a giant … pig. Let’s carry on.

16. Everyone, please go vegan.

17. I’m glad she didn’t take a selfie with that tiny fish.

18. You think dogs make great cuddle pillows? Have you met Okja?

19. Just like pigs in real life, Okja is a remarkable problem solver.

20. Oh, my God—totally hugged my dog after watching Mija and Okja hug.

21. Currently trying to have my companion animals answer to “Okja.”

22. Booze stash under the floorboards—new life goal.

23. All the times I’ve talked about this movie, I’ve been totally pronouncing “Okja” wrong.

24. Dr. Wilcox, that’s too much mustache for any one man to handle.

25. Dr. Wilcox is getting a little too fresh with Okja for my comfort.

26. To make an exceptional healthy pig, he “just let her run around.” Animals thrive when they live as nature intended and not on some filthy, crowded farm. Go figure.

27. Think Okja is just a movie? Have you met Esther the Wonder Pig?

28. Okja > 1,000 golden pigs.

29. “Plans for her in America”—you mean “slaughter and eat your best friend.”

30. Girls don’t like boys. Girls like pigs and moneeeeeey.

31. Her favorite food is chicken stew? I’m going to be bummed if she doesn’t come out of this experience a vegan.

32. It’s no one’s “fate” to have their throat slit before being dismembered and packaged.

33. Oh my pants, that calendar of Okja butts.

34. “No photos.” Yeah, because like all meat industry companies, if the public saw how Mirando treats animals, its business would tank.

35. Anyone notice that dank-looking roof garden when Mija was chasing the semi-truck through Seoul? More life goals.

36. This is, like, the nicest hijacking in the history of hijackings.

37. I bet a lot of people working for the meat industry—which is notorious for treating employees like garbage—feel just like this disgruntled driver.

38. A giant animal running amok in a store, and of course, someone is taking a selfie …. But why the hell is she dressed like a pig?

39. The musical score for this “animal rights activists versus soldiers from Mirando” scene is straight fire.

40. Netflix helped make a vegan movie. Real life is getting wild in 2017.

41. Both of the trucks used to transport Okja are Hyundais. Wonder if that company just has the whole “transporting oddly large animals” market covered.

42. Villains slipping on marbles on the floor … classic.

43. Woah—Okja poops on command?

44. How many people smashed that “Like” button on Facebook after watching this movie?

45. How many Googled “How to go vegan”?

46. We’ve found ketamine in “all-natural” chicken. “Natural, safe, and non-GMO” means jack all.

47. Totally called the whole B.S. story on super-pigs being “discovered” in Chile.

48. Speaking of B.S., using that “local farmers” crap is exactly what the meat industry tries to do in real life. It survives on propaganda.

49. So does Jay understand Korean sometimes or what?

50. Oh, actor from The Walking Dead, you’re out here lying.

51. LOL, “pig-napping.”

52. Calling it right now—the disgruntled Mirando driver being interviewed has the best lines in the movie.

53. Dear Lucy Mirando, there’s nothing more narcissistic than the human supremacy responsible for killing billions of animals every year.

54. I bet Mirando is a reference to Monsanto. Off to Google I go!

55. Yup. Search “Monsanto” and “Agent Orange.”

56. Oh, Lucy, you can’t love someone you choose to eat.

57. Director Bong Joon-ho sneaking in some symbolism with Okja staring out the transport truck, looking at all those gravestones. I see you, Bong.

58. The tiny cages they’re keeping the sick and crippled pigs in actually look bigger than the ones actual pigs are kept in.

59. Go vegan!

60. Are they keeping the sick and injured pigs around for experimenting? In real life, they would have already bashed their heads in and thrown them out like trash.

61. I feel sick to my stomach after that rape scene, knowing that countless animals are forced to breed just like this all around the world.

62. I’m going to dress like Jay for a while. Looking dapper 100.

63. Dr. Wilcox is like the stepdad no child deserves.

64. “It’s just a movie.” Bruh, 110 million pigs are killed for food every year.

65. Why is everyone acting like talking to an animal homie over the phone is weird? Are Mija and I the only people who do this?

66. Like Dr. Wilcox, I wonder how many self-proclaimed “animal lovers” who work at circuses or roadside zoos actually just hate themselves?

67. Did you know Jake Gyllenhaal’s character was based on a few terrible people, including a TV personality who was also a pedophile? That reeaaaally shines through during his interactions with Okja.

68. Honestly, his interactions with Okja are what every meat-eater looks like when they fetishize bacon.

69. I mean, I could totally still tell it was Jay, even with the glasses. I’m sure Mija could, too.

70. “For me, it was like every time he was on screen, I wished he weren’t”—a colleague on the character of Dr. Wilcox.

71. God, he humps the air! Just low-key humping in the face of all those innocent bystanders.

72. Whoa, there’s an actual result on YouTube if you search “Mirando is” … ahem … you know.

73. Black Chalk, aka “Blackwater.”

74. There’s so much pain in Okja’s bloodshot eyes. I’m not crying—you’re crying.

75. Just like all animals, Okja feels pain and wants to live free from harm and the fear of death.

76. This farm looks like a concentration camp for super-pigs.

77. Floors flooded with blood, carcasses hanging from the ceiling, yet, somehow, real-life farms are still more disgusting and disturbing.

78. All this death and suffering, when people could just eat plants!

79. Hats off to Tilda Swinton for embodying the heartless, sociopathic nature of the meat industry.

80. Lives ARE NOT property. Throughout history, we’ve proven this time and again.

81. I feel like, in real life, a meat industry CEO would have taken the golden pig AND killed Okja just for fun.

82. Would have probably killed and eaten Mija, too.

83. OH, MY GOD, those other pigs saved their baby! Okja will be a surrogate mother. OK, this time I am crying.

84. This movie is going to have people crying in the meat aisles of grocery stores.

85. Told you.

86. Imagine how all mother pigs must feel when their babies are torn away from them.

87. I’d hate to spoil this moment with my cynicism, but really, they saved two pigs out of thousands. Everyone, please go vegan.

88. Oh snap, extra scenes after the credits! Marvel changed the game.

89. Jay was jailed long enough to grow a beard. A beard! For simply wanting to save lives through nonviolence.

90. It’s a real website!

Wow, that was quite the ride. Thank you for making it through all this insane hullabaloo, and I hope you enjoyed the movie as much as I did!

91. Seriously, go vegan.

Have you read Free the Animals? It’s the amazing true story of the animal liberation front! It reads like a suspense novel, with riveting accounts of daring animal rescues from vivisectors, fur farms, and food factories. It’s a book you won’t be able to put down—or forget.

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“Almost all of us grew up eating meat, wearing leather, and going to circuses and zoos. We never considered the impact of these actions on the animals involved. For whatever reason, you are now asking the question: Why should animals have rights?” READ MORE

— Ingrid E. Newkirk, PETA President and co-author of Animalkind