The Vegan Guide to Surviving a Breakup
Relationships end. Once in a blue moon, there might be a truly amicable breakup in which both parties leave as friends. What’s more likely after a breakup, however, is that you’ll feel like you’re lost at sea and that your heart has become a rock that’s slowly pulling you under water. If that sounds similar to what you’re experiencing, here’s a vegan guide to help you overcome the waves of sadness. So put down your phone (you’re not going to get a reply), and let’s get over it.
Eat Ice Cream
People sometimes say that they’re so sick at heart that they can’t eat. That’s a lie. What they mean is that the only thing they can eat is the ice cream that they’re also crying into. Now that Ben & Jerry’s has released four nondairy flavors, there’s never been a better time to console yourself with frozen sugar.
Watch Netflix
A photo posted by Paige (@bxbymoon) on Oct 29, 2015 at 8:58pm PDT
Netflix is a constant in our lives that we can always depend on to keep us company. Need to cry it all out? Need to take your mind off your own problems and focus your anger on something else? Might I suggest Blackfish? If that seems a bit too heavy for your heart right now, check out some other options.
Stock Up on Tissues
You’re going to cry (especially if you chose to watch Blackfish). It’s OK. Actually, crying is healthy. It removes toxins, lowers blood pressure, and relieves stress. So allow yourself to cry a lot, and when you do, choose tissues from a cruelty-free company like Seventh Generation to wipe your tears away.
Drink Wine
A photo posted by Nicole | Champagne and Chips (@champagneandchips) on Jan 22, 2016 at 4:46pm PST
You know what they say, “Drink until the pain goes away.” Or at least, someone, at some point, has probably said that while they were trying to forget about a breakup. Make sure to drink responsibly—that is, do it with friends, call a car service to drive you, and choose any of the thousands of vegan options that are available.
Buy a ‘Boyfriend Pillow’
Or a “girlfriend pillow”—loneliness is not gender-specific! The point is that nights after a breakup can be cold and restless. You used to have someone next to you, and now you don’t. Luckily, you can trick your body into thinking that you still do with one of these pillows.
Wear Sweatpants
A photo posted by Esther The Wonder Pig (@estherthewonderpig) on Dec 17, 2015 at 11:40am PST
Go ahead—wear them. It’s not like you have someone that you’re trying to impress anymore. Embrace the freedom that comes with that and let yourself be comfy. Just check the tags to make sure that your pair doesn’t have wool in them.
Adopt a Companion Animal
Did your loved one leave you because you wanted a lifetime commitment and he or she didn’t? Boy, have I got a solution for you! Seriously, though, companion animals are a great source of love, but they’re also a great responsibility. Only do this if you’re truly ready for that. If you’ve decided that you are, you’ll soon find out why so many (single) people say that their dog is their valentine!
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