Time for your weekly glimpse into the seedy underbelly of the animal-experimentation industry! This Friday, we have two “scientists” going head to head for the coveted PETA Files “Vivisector of the Week”* award, granted to the most cold-hearted, unethical animal researcher in academia—with extra points awarded for sheer stupidity of the experiments. Swallow hard and get ready to be revolted, because here are the two contenders for this week’s prize:
David Waitzman, UConn.
Waitzman’s going to be tough to beat this week. His experiments are so hideous that he’s recently been given a citation and fine from the USDA for violating the pathetically low standards required by the Animal Welfare Act. Let’s see if we can make this a twofer for Mr. Waitzman, who likes to drill holes in monkeys’ skulls and implant steel coils into their eyeballs. PETA is currently asking the feds to take back Waitzman’s grant money in light of his USDA citations. The guy has already received more than $1.7 million in federal funds to conduct these experiments, which should make a lot of people more than a little upset.
George Fahey, UIUC.
George Fahey jumped onto the national stage this week with an article in The New York Times magazine describing his work surgically attaching tubes to live dogs’ intestines for the benefit of the multi-million dollar pet-food industry. As the article points out, “With his academic status and independent financing, George Fahey’s research spares pet-food manufacturers the negative publicity they might attract if they ran their own experiments on surgically altered dogs.” That selfless act alone deserves a big lick on the face from one of the grateful pet-food company execs, don’t you think? Click here to read PETA’s letter to UIUC’s Chancellor suggesting that they look into an alternative to dog mutilation ’round about now.
Please cast your votes now, or if neither of these mad scientists does the trick for you, feel free to nominate a write-in candidate. See you next week!*
*The PETA Files cannot guarantee that they will remember to do this next week.