So, the president and CEO of Seattle-based Attachmate has found himself knee-deep in bison dung. No, really!
Software executive Jeff Hawn apparently warned the neighbors of his Colorado home to keep the bison off his property or else … and he meant it. According to CNN, Jeff alleged in a lawsuit that “the animals knocked his satellite television dishes off line and left poop, tracks, and hair on ‘pristine pasture on rolling hills.'” Well, Mr. Hawn, maybe that’s because they’re … um … bison, and bison, well, have been known to walk around and poop, as shocking as that is. And it was their land, their home, before it was your land, your sprawling second luxury home.
Nine days after he filed this absurd suit, CNN reports, the first shots were fired and eventually the remains of 32 bison were found on Hawn’s property. Law enforcement later found out that 14 hunters got a letter from Hawn giving them total permission to hunt the bison on his property. However, I’m guessing that he forgot about that whole “open range” law that Colorado has. Livestock can roam wherever they want, and if people don’t want them around, they’re encouraged to build a fence, not blow their brains out.
Luckily, money can’t buy everything, and this lovely fellow has found himself smack dab in the middle of criminal court, charged with theft and 32 counts of aggravated animal cruelty. But now here’s the kicker—one of Hawn’s attorneys said that Hawn “had no other choice” but to get rid of the bison so that he could protect himself.
No other choice?!!?? The man is CEO of a major corporation and doesn’t know about options.
Well, luckily, the rest of Fairplay, Colorado, is outraged, as are we. Comment and tell us what you think about this mess of a situation, and we’ll be sure to keep you updated.
Written by Christine Doré