According to the British music magazine NME, Irish sperm donors are in short supply and one enterprising sperm bank has come up with an incentive scheme in time for St. Patrick’s Day (donations in exchange for contest tickets).
“Sperm donors are to be offered free tickets to any music festival in Europe under a new initiative. Irish stocks are apparently dwindling, with demand far higher than is sustainable, and donations down by 40% over the last four years.”
Always ready to help (and mindful of how good fruit and veggies prove in fertility studies), PETA is offering a special St. Patrick’s Day T-shirt to help remind anyone with a touch of the Blarney that drinking milk can lower their sperm count. I defy anyone to choose a pint of milk over a pint of Guinness after looking at this particular masterpiece.
Anyway, good luck lads, and happy, um, donating.