A bit of a slow news day today, folks, except for the fact that George Clooney’s pig—Max, the Star—has shuffled off this mortal coil at the ripe old age of 18. “It’s strange how animals become part of your family,” George told the press. “They really become a big issue with you.” George will not be looking for a replacement for Max, the Star, though. As he put it, “I think Max covered all my pig needs.” I feel like there’s some good stuff that could be said at this juncture about adopting animals from shelters and about not eating bacon, but, I dunno, you probably get the idea. Anyway, RIP George Clooney’s pig.
Speaking of Hogs, the Washington Redskins blew a 14-point lead yesterday to lose to the Atlanta Falcons at home, 24-14.
Being a Redskins fan is like being in an abusive relationship—I give them so much love and support, and all I get in return is heartbreak. They can still technically go to the playoffs though, if they win all the rest of their games, so you can be sure that I’ll be back next week for more abuse.
In Other News
Bacon = Bladder Cancer Rise Against’s Bunny Liberator Zombie Chickens Hunting Accident!