George Clooney, He’s What’s for Dinner

Published by PETA Staff.
2 min read
babble / CC
George Clooney

We just received possibly one of our oddest donation offers to date: George Clooney’s sweat, apparently soaked up by a towel taken from a Washington, D.C., gym. I’ll give you a moment to take that in.

We must admit that George is a handsome man, so it was hard for me to overcome the temptation to just sit in a corner and fondle the towel until the end of time, but we learned that there is technology that can convert perspiration into a flavoring! Now, we’re always looking out for new ways to spice up our tofu, so we decided we’d see about mixing up a little George Clooney–flavored tofu—”CloFu”—for supper. We wrote to Clooney to see if he finds this idea as amusing as I do.

How does this work? Well, it involves gas chromatography and mass spectrometry, but here’s one easy way: Researchers have used a panel of trained individuals with sensitive noses to pinpoint unique components in any individual’s odor. Once the odors have been identified, the right combination of flavors can be synthetically replicated, infused in bean curd, and voilà! CloFu.

Some people don’t try tofu because they expect it to taste bland, but we know it can absorb any taste—so CloFu could make your taste buds and your heart melt. Of course, what’s even better is that after everyone gets a piece of George and realizes how delicious tofu truly is, diets will be revolutionized.

Written by Liz Graffeo

GET PETA UPDATES
Stay up to date on the latest vegan trends and get breaking animal rights news delivered straight to your inbox!

By submitting this form, you’re acknowledging that you have read and agree to our privacy policy and agree to receive e-mails from us.

Get the Latest Tips—Right in Your Inbox
We’ll e-mail you weekly with the latest in vegan recipes, fashion, and more!

By submitting this form, you’re acknowledging that you have read and agree to our privacy policy and agree to receive e-mails from us.