We all know hunters are psychopathic asshats, but who better to expound upon this point than a comedian?
Jim Jefferies launched a weekly talk show airing every Tuesday night on Comedy Central. (If you’ve never seen this guy’s stand-up routine, hit up Netflix and thank me later.) In his most recent episode, Jefferies reports on the death of Xanda, son of Cecil the lion. Not only was 6-year-old Xanda a father to numerous cubs, he was also shot near the same spot as his father, Cecil.
Jefferies spent roughly seven minutes completely destroying hunting in general and trophy hunting, in particular. Here are some of his finer points (we’ll do our best to mask our excitement):
“I know that people consider hunting to be a sport. It’s not a sport. Sports have winners and losers. When have you ever lost at hunting?”
“If your hobby is you and your best friend dressed up in camouflage hiding in a swamp and going ‘honk, honk’ so you can fool the mind of a duck, what type of low-life prick are you?”
“Oh, thank God you came along. We were all running out of food here in America without you, noble huntsman!”
“Stop bragging about using the whole animal. No one cares. If a serial killer made a lampshade out of human skin, you wouldn’t say, ‘Well, at least he’s using every part of the victim.'”
“Locals can make just as much money from tourists who come and look at the animals and don’t f****** shoot them.”
“Be honest with us—you don’t do it because you care about conservation or helping others. You just like the killing part.”
“Maybe another way to thank the animal for its life is by not killing it.”
And then, there’s his entire rich person/poor person comparison monologue at the end:
Global condemnation of Cecil the lion’s death didn’t diminish trophy hunters’ thirst for blood.
Majestic wild animals will continue to be slaughtered to boost hunters’ egos and fulfill their perverse sense of “fun” as long as wildlife slayers with something to prove can ship heads, tails, and skins back home.
More than 40 airlines have banned the shipment of these grisly trophies, and PETA is calling on UPS to join them. Add your voice to ours: