With that subject line you may be expecting a punch line here, but I’m under strict orders to play this one straight. Apparently, the “First Colon” is not to be joked about . . . So, no snickering.
Anyway, I’m sure you all heard that President Bush had five polyps removed from his colon during his colonoscopy at Camp David on Saturday. And although the growths were benign, PETA VP Bruce Friedrich fired off a letter pointing out that according to leading health and medical professionals, eating a diet based on meat and other animal products significantly raises a person’s risk for colon cancer. And since we’re so sure the president will be going vegetarian any day now, we also offered to dispatch a gourmet vegan chef to train the current White House cooking staff in preparing delicious and healthful vegan meals.
Surprisingly, we haven’t heard back from good ‘ol Dubya yet. Must just be some rare White House mixup . . . Anyway, here’s the letter we sent.