PETA’s in the Loop on Elon Musk’s Hyperloop

We’ve been fans of Elon Musk ever since we learned that the founder of the SpaceX space transport company plans to turn the “red planet” green: He wants to help establish the first colony on Mars—and he wants it to be vegetarian. Elon is known for dreaming big, which is how he brought us PayPal and Tesla electric cars. His latest greatest idea is the Hyperloop, a solar-powered, tube-shaped transportation system that would get commuters from Los Angeles to San Francisco in 30 minutes flat.

But it takes green to go green, and one big problem that the Hyperloop’s critics cite is that this baby is going to cost a ton. Well, PETA is all about being green (the environment is one huge reason why we’re all vegan), so we’ve got an idea that will help Elon raise funds for the Hyperloop: Sell ad space. And we’ll be the first in line with this fitting inaugural placement:

Clogged arteries from fat and cholesterol in animal foods slow us down way more than clogged highways do. So as the Hyperloop provides high-speed mass transit, it could also provide a high-speed mass exit from meat and dairy products.

And that would be totally tubular.