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Squirrel Underpants Could Save Thousands

Written by PETA | April 1, 2009


squirrelunderpants / CC
Squirrel Underpants

Our friends at PETA Europe are fed up with how “culling animals” is hailed as a solution to so-called population “crises.” The latest proposal comes from Scotland, where plans are in place to conduct a £1.3 million cull (read “mass slaughter”) of the gray squirrel population. To satisfy everyone’s needs—both the Scots’ and the squirrels’—PETA Europe has come up with a humane alternative.

Squirrel underpants.

The idea for the teeny-tiny tighty-whities wasn’t PETA Europe’s—the kudos goes to the Squirrel Underpants Company. But PETA Europe is urgently calling for squirrel lovers everywhere to help it purchase thousands of pairs of those pants, which are specially made to fit squirrels, so that the mischievous little creatures will find it exceedingly difficult, if not impossible, to mate. Call them chastity pants, if you so wish.

Gray squirrels were introduced to the U.K. from the U.S. in the 19th century and have since been blamed for decimating the population of native red squirrels. But, in actuality, deforestation, epidemic diseases and harsh winters have all had an effect on red squirrels’ numbers (not to mention hunters, who, let’s face it, were killing them for bounties long before gray squirrels even arrived in Britain).

“The idea of exterminating millions of friendly and adaptable bushy-tailed squirrels is madness,” says PETA Europe Director Robbie LeBlanc. “We want Americans also to help buy squirrel underwear and so stave off a Scottish attack on these little animals, as, after all, this is the peaceful solution to a problem that they created!” Mee-oww!

Written by Shawna Flavell

Commenting is closed.
  • Sofia the squirrel says:

    Great idea! An EPIC way of fashion for squirrels!

  • Giorgia says:

    HAHAHAHHAAHA!!!!!! What a fantastic idea!!!! And you can actually buy them! hahahhahhaha!!!!!!

  • Mike Quinoa says:

    The underpants may be a joke but the cull unfortunately isn’t.

  • Laurie says:

    This smells of an April Fools joke! No one would be stupid enough to really suggest doing this would they? First off the squirrels would have those underpants chewed off in a matter of seconds and second if they didn’t they would be at risk of having them get tangled up with a branch effectivly starving them to death…which would solve the problem as well. COME ON PEOPLE…wise up! I do wildlife rescue and have fostered MANY small animals like this. The only effective thing to do is like the killer bees feed them something that renders the males sterile or trap and release as many as possible.

  • Lily says:

    Absolutely shocked by the number of people who think this is a serious proposal. Come on people! Look at your calendars!

  • Michele says:

    April Fools Day! LOL

  • Dyian says:

    I like where this is heading but I’m not sure how kind this solution is either…I’m wondering about them getting caught on things or hindering their ability to pee. Just something to think about.

  • Lianne says:

    I would like to volunteer my services as a professional squirrel dresser in exchange for a bucket of acorns.

  • DigitalPR says:

    Really. Come on just go hunt the hunters and leave the animals alone..Underpants? this is even funny for me..

  • Maja says:

    How healthy’s this for squirrels?

  • Ginette says:

    wouldnt it make more sense to come up with a birth control and put it in their food comeon underpants? Seems abit ridiculous to me.

  • Rev. Meg Schramm says:

    Be sure to make them in a plaid print.

  • Aneliese says:

    April fools! I like peta2’s better the Obama antifur ad is awesome!

  • Amber Falobas says:

    I loveeeeeeee Squirrels!!