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On the Road With the Circus

Written by PETA | August 27, 2007

My friend and colleague Jason Bayless has been on tour with Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey Circus for three long months now, and I figured it was about time we had a look back at his tireless efforts to make sure that anyone who goes to a Ringling event in any state gets the elephants’ side of the story too. Check out the slideshow of the tour that he sent me today:

 

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  • Danielle says:

    I protested with Jason On Saturday in Everett Wa. what a great guy. I asked him if he had a blog and he said yes but didn’t hook up with him at the end of the demos does anyone have the link to his blog? Thanks Danielle

  • Chancey says:

    Thank you Michele. I believe your apology is sincere. I’m a simple country boy at heart but I know wrong from right and animal abuse is just cruel and unusual punishment. I’m trying to understand how PETA members came to their position. I’m from the South where you hear hogs cattle and chickens being slaughtered day and night. People don’t even give it a second thought. My spirital mentor is always saying never eat anything has a face and my dietitian always tells me how you can see the aggressive nature of people who eat meat as opposed to vegetarians who express a calm demeanor. I believe PETA needs people who originate from where I hail because I understand the mentality of people who treat animals as if they are disposable. I may be most effective as a mediator. Every organization is in need of diplomacy. Thanks again. My research continues.

  • Mike Quinoa says:

    Chancey that’s a great idea about animal treatment being considered in ISO 9000 certification. Yeah good old Monsanto. They got the majority of canola farmers in Canada using their RoundUp Ready canola seeds which are impervious to Monsanto’s herbicides and pesticides. Those chemicals though kill everything else in sight. Farmers are forced to buy new Monsanto seed every year and are not permitted to save or trade their own seeds. Monsanto tried to strongarm one Saskatchewan farmer who was not toeing the company line and the whole case became somewhat surreal Google percy schmeiser or visit http://www.percyschmeiser.com. If Monsanto can control the global seed market they can control the price of food. Scary. Thanks for the tip on those documentaries. I’ll look for them.

  • Michele says:

    Chancey I truly apologize if I was mistaken about your comments. I don’t know how far back you’ve gone on the PETA files blogs in your research but if you do have the chance to go through it you will see that there are MANY people who just shoot their mouths off about PETA and its supporters without having a clue about what they are saying and your comment seemed to be on that same level. Again I am sorry for misunderstanding. It is great that you are considering joining PETA I have never regretted doing so and I have to say that it has completely changed my life. There are those of us who express their passion for animal rights more strongly than others and I will fully acknowledge that I am one of those VERY passionate types but no one should be rejected or ignored for being less vocal about the issues than someone else. Anyway there is a LOT of good info on PETA’s sites I wish you the best in your search and maybe we will see you around on these blogs more often!

  • keith says:

    To everybody who thought some of us Did not get the Perverse sarcasm ironic of ” M.Q. ” well we did ! but these comments at length. best left for articles in the Washington Post etc .. etc…. plain and simple much the most effective message.

  • Gretchen says:

    That was so very Colbertish report of you. Too bad some people did not get it. Nice Job.

  • Chancey says:

    Mike that is the best invitation I have had all year. Thank you. My mind is made up about 85 to join PETA but I have to check out the site more and do a little more research including my own company and their position on animal rights. I will see if they’re on your list of corporate sponsors. I work for the largest containerized shipping company in the world and I’m sure you will figure who that is quickly. I think I can help PETA but the organization probably already has people with the skills that I can bring. Anyhow I understand the industrial farm complex very well having come from that world I was a Future Farmers of America and 4H club member in high school. I will have an MBA in a little more than a year so I understand business strategies and how they’re implemented quite well. The business studies have really opened my eyes to how the public is targeted by marketing agencies from early childhood to become loyal to consumer products to the grave in many cases. My threeyear son can point out every food chain and major retailer as easily as all the shows he watches on PBS Sprout. But many corporations covet the ISO 9000 designation a certification that measures qualitative procedures across several areas to include finance safety and environmental practices enforced by companies. More and more consumers are choosing to conduct business with those already ISO 9000 certified and those without it will be left in the dust. At least that’s the theory. I don’t know if PETA has made contact with the ISO 9000 board but if PETA could persuade the board to include animal rights policies in the ISO 9000 certification who knows what could happen? Have you ever watched LinkTV? On DirecTV it’s channel 375. There are some eye opening documentaries shown on that channel including one called Life Running Out of Control about genetically modified animals and plants and how companies like Monsanto plan to control the world’s seed supply as absurd as that sounds. But it is apparently becoming a reality. The cloning processes in animals is gruesome stuff. Check out their site.

  • Mike Quinoa says:

    I’ll try posting this again. Thanks Michele I’m a Canuck too eh! It’s great to see people from all over the world posting here. When you read Spanish people protesting bullfighting it’s just so powerful. I think the internet and this blog have a very unifying effect on the AR movement. No problem at all EAS. I like your posts. Yes Wayney I do find it very strange that fees from hunting permits actually fund wildlifebenefit programs. So in other words let me “protect” a few animals so I can blast the heads off of other ones. That seems more like the mandate of certain “conservation” groups whose sole and selfserving purpose in preserving wildlife is so that they are able to kill it year after year. Roosevelt certainly did much to conserve wildlands but according to Wiki this action also won him the support of fellow hunters and fishermen to bolster his political base. Obviously these groups saw some something in it for themselves. “In 1903 Roosevelt toured the Yosemite Valley with John Muir founder of the Sierra Club but he rejected Muir’s philosophy that privileged nature and emphasized instead the more efficient use of nature.” Wiki. Now I wonder what did he mean exactly by “efficient use” of nature? Ironically Roosevelt was one of the last observers of the passenger pigeon whose numbers dwindled from 5000000000 to nothing with hunting being the main reason. Maybe as a hunter he was afraid that without “conservation” this fate would befall other target species. TR assuredly did some good in the US but his motivation may have been less than altruistic.

  • Mike Quinoa says:

    Good post Chancey. I believe you have an open mind. Please remember you are dealing here with people who are VERY passionate about their cause. Sure some might seem overzealous but it’s not for egocentric reasons. There is so much animal exploitation going on it’s almost overwhelming and a lot of us here feel an urgency to save every last cow pig chicken and yes mouse raccoon and opossum. Over the top? Perhaps sometimes but with a noble purpose in mind. Also realize there is a heavy industry backlash fighting animal rights and vegetarianism every step of the way. I can guarantee these boards are monitored by animalexploitive industries always looking for ways to dismiss discredit and belittle the animal rights movement. So some of us here probably feel constantly under siege. I’m not sure if PETA ever goes canvassing doortodoordon’t think they have the personnel for it. I’ve seen several PETA campaigns spearheaded by African Americans. The common thread between all PETA members regardless of any other differences is the desire to help animals and PETA could certainly use your help. Thanks Millie. I’ll try. Though as Captain Jack would say I just have to wait for the “opportune moment”.

  • millie says:

    mike q that was the funniest thing ive ever read!!! THANK YOU and keep posting stuff like that omg i cant stop laughing!!!!! D D D

  • Chancey says:

    I have been open to learning more about PETA and exactly what the organization does to enforce animal rights. I was trying to establish a dialogue by talking about characters like the Archduke to find common ground between marginal animal supporters and the progressive activists. If my attempt to reach out to some of you seems clumsy or irrelevant at least I tried. For the most part I find PETA to be filled with courageous people who stand their ground and are prepared to fight the good fight. But some of you display flawless arrogance and drive away people who are also open to making a commitment to your cause. Many of us in the African American community have had little or no contact with PETA. I have never seen PETA come into my neighborhood for a pledge or fund drive in the 9 years I have occupied my home but I have seen Jehovahs Witnesses the Salvation Army the Humane Society and even the Mormons pass through occasionally. Whats the matter were not good enough for you? There is no shortage of stray cats and dogs in some of our neighborhoods and guess what we didnt bring all of them there. This is a great opportunity to build better ties with the black community but some of you rather point out dumb some people sound or misspell words as Mike pointed out I know he did it with sarcasm than to actually state your case about animal rights. Some of you are the problem with the image of PETA because you think that youre so much better than others. PETA does have an image problem among people of color whether you admit it or not. I have lived in the Northeastern United States half of my adult life where you think you would encounter PETA protests on a regular basis but I have never encountered one PETA member in my life. And I used to visit Manhattan four to five nights a week. I have seen PETA protests on the news and the image etched in my memory is a Tara Reid looking woman in a bikini painted like a cat sitting in a cage in the dead of winter. You arent visible in the black community or at least in my neck of the woods you aren’t. Some of you believe that you are clever you are by trying to talk down to people you obviously think are beneath you. You have lost focus of what your organization is about if you are constantly trying to belittle people. Im not one to tell you what PETA is about but I know it isnt about being smug. As a 19year military veteran I am trained to go for the jugular every single time someone tries to attack me or leaves an opening. Many of you have left openings that I can expose but I am tired of conflict. I have fought some of this countrys wars and now I choose peace and reasoning. I have been in situations where there is no compromise and I can switch to combat mode at the drop of a hat if Im pushed hard enough. Whats the point? Some of you obviously want to keep your condescending miserable little elitist group to yourselves. I personally dont believe that you represent the mainstream members of PETA but you should branch off and form your own pseudopsycho organization where you can gloat about how superior you all are. If this is what is to be expected if I become a PETA member then it isnt for me. You can keep that nauseating drivel. Michael youre someone I can relate to. I know that youre a proud supporter of PETA and I am a casual observer but I deployed with guys like you whom I didnt necessarily agree on with every issue but found common ground that allowed us to move forward. PETA needs you more than ever because Im willing to bet that you can intersect the great divide between those with extreme views like some NRA members with whom the only way to take their rifles is to remove them from their cold dead hands to that guy on the Discovery Channel who lives among the wolves. That guy is extreme to me but he is much more honest than some of these socalled animal lovers who scream kill it! at the sight of a mouse or who have no problem with the SPCA taking away those annoying raccoons and opossums that raid garbage cans in search of food. He has taken his cause to their habitat. How many PETA members are willing to give some of their property back to help develop a new sanctuary for displaced animals?

  • Chancey says:

    Wow Michelle you are sensitive aren’t you? I have no clue what you read into but I bear no malice. I’m not your enemy in fact I posted several other comments on other blogs showing my respect for how you guys defend your site. Yes I did look the PETA homepage several times before I posted anything.And I know all about the circuses not just the Ringling Bros. Allegations of animal abuse go way back. Michael you are a voice of reason. Although I know you were waxing sarcasm some people like Michele think they are superior. No big deal. I have dealt with that mentality all of my life. We all love animals I have seven cats at home that are well taken care of. My mentioning the Archduke Ferninand was to point out that even passive animal supporters recognize the work of a madman nothing more. I was just asking. I like how PETA bloggers defend their territory but some of you are ready to jump down the throats of people who can come around to your way of thinking. You may have more converts if some of you weren’t so smug and insufferable. Perhaps you don’t want the organization to grow because you some of your personalities are pretty crappy and you probably keep many who want to learn more at bay.

  • Ana says:

    Wayne Hunters MURDER the animals in those very forests and parks. Bush wants to allow even more hunting in these parks and forests where animals are “protected”. Sure Teddy set aside land but it also gives hunters animals to shoot and MURDER. If bison walk off their “protected” land they are game for hunters. Those fees the cowardly hunters pay are to support their shootingbowhunting grounds. The only animals cowardly hunters appreciate are the ones they MURDER. They enjoy taking pictures of animals they MURDERED dripping in blood and also enjoy hanging the heads of MURDERED animals on the walls in their homes. Another dumb old argument how hunters help animals and the environment. Don’t forget all of the pollution those weapons give off into the airland and water. Take a look at the Committee to Abolish Sport Hunting …try to get educated on the topic of hunters and how these cowards MURDER animals. Use monies to preserve the environment where all people can shoot the animals with cameras the animals live and you have fond memories.

  • observer says:

    wayne what the hell kind of points are you trying to make??? that TR was a hypocrit??? ok!!! that he only supported the parks to be immortalized in history??? ok!!! that TR was a schizo??? maybe!!! well guess what!!! those animal protection parks and forests that you say BULLY BULLSHIT TR founded to keep his intentions is bullshit!!! the parks and forests are targeted by lying hypocritical money grubbing so called wildlife protection programs whose real purpose is to get donations for their pockets and to control each species by shooting trapping and poisoning animals to fulfill their bloodlust!!! almost to the point of the animals extinction!!! they’re a mockery to the real conservationists who recover the species that are almost extinct caused by the lying wildlife programs!!! the real conservationists and ecologists are the reason why national parks and forest exist at all today!!! you’re confusing those parks and forests with animal sanctuaries!!! hunters are freakin lying hypocrits trying to make people believe their funding fees will make them look like great conservationists!!!! they only benefit themselves by having control over the type of animals they prefer to murder!!! YES MURDER!!! KILLING A LIVING BEING IS MURDER!!!! DON’T SUGAR COAT IT BY SAYING MURDER IS OFFENSIVE!!! killer hunters are good at sugar coating. they say bag instead of kill!!!

  • Mike Quinoa says:

    Thanks Michele I’m a Canuck too eh! It’s great to see people from all over the world posting here. When you read Spanish people protesting bullfighting it’s just so powerful. I think the internet and this blog have a very unifying effect on the AR movement. No problem at all EAS. I like your posts. Yes Wayney I do find it very strange that fees from hunting permits actually fund wildlifebenefit programs. So in other words let me “protect” a few animals so I can blast the heads off of other ones. That seems more like the mandate of certain “conservation” groups whose sole and selfserving purpose in preserving wildlife is so that they are able to kill it year after year. Roosevelt certainly did much to conserve wildlands but according to Wiki this action also won him the support of fellow hunters and fishermen to bolster his political base. Obviously these groups saw some something in it for themselves. “In 1903 Roosevelt toured the Yosemite Valley with John Muir founder of the Sierra Club but he rejected Muir’s philosophy that privileged nature and emphasized instead the more efficient use of nature.” Wiki. Now I wonder what did he mean exactly by “efficient use” of nature? Ironically Roosevelt was one of the last observers of the passenger pigeon whose numbers dwindled from 5000000000 to nothing with hunting being the main reason. Maybe as a hunter he was afraid that without “conservation” this fate would befall other target species. TR assuredly did some good in the US but his motivation may have been less than altruistic.

  • Cheryl says:

    GO PETA!!!!!!! I let all my family know NOT to go to Circuses.

  • stephanie says:

    i agree with u mike after finding out what they do to poor animals i stop going to circus

  • EAS says:

    Mike Quinoa I apologize for my comment. Obviously I was a bit defensive. Ana I meant to say “Are you apathetic” or “Are you without empathy”. Thanks for your comments and other comments on other blogs To everyone else who commented on my comments you’re right I missed the whole point. Thanks for setting me straight. I guess I need to lighten up. Mike maybe your input might shut those other people up or at least have them come in with intelligent comments for or against. Good one on you!

  • Wayne says:

    Mikey did you know that the modern conservation movement was founded by a gun lovin’ meat eatin’ republican? His name was Theodore Roosevelt and he is the reason that national parks and forests exist in the scale that the do today. guess what those parks and forests have ANIMALS in them that are PROTECTED. he also was fascinated by animals and believed people should share a common respect for them. but if you know anything about TR at all you will also note that he was a hunter refrain from the term murderer in your replies its offensive. strange fees from hunting permits actually fund wildlifebenefit programs.

  • Michele says:

    Chancey PLEASE do some basic research before you shoot off your mouth. Have you even bothered to look at PETA’s homepage?????????????????????????????????????????? Duh look at the “Deadly’s” campaign it is ALL about Ringling Bros. Also PETA has a whole website at http://www.circuses.com regarding ALL circuses with animal acts including rodeos. It is really an interesting but ultimately silly “tactic” for antiPETA or promeat people to criticize an issue by saying “why are you focusing so much on insert animal rights issue here when there are so many problems with insert another animal rights issue here?” PETA and its supporters do not say that the issue of animals used for clothing is more or less important than vegetarianism for example. All of these issues are serious and PETA has campaigns involving all of them. Just because one particular blog topic is about Mike Vick does not mean that PETA has dropped all of its involvement in the other campaigns! And Mike Q I would ask you to marry me if I was not already married Hey I was just wondering about where the animal rights people on these blogs are from in general just because it seems like there are a lot of “Canucks” on here.

  • Anonymous says:

    Mike you are the man. I mainly wanted to spark the interest in PETA observers about this man who allegedly killed over 250000 animals during the course of his life. It is said that in Africa he would ride a train loaded with guns from every viewpoint and shoot at anything that moved.

  • Ana says:

    Mike Q Well done. In the scheme of things Fedinand as an historical figure was really inconsequential just the same as the question posed. I also am wondering what exactly is the point. I love the efforts being made to educate the public about the cruelest show on earth. Go PETA!!!! Also there is a substantial effort being put forth to encourage legislation that would ban circuses with animals League of Humane Voters. In NYC this effortmovement is in full thrust.

  • observer says:

    have to add some things. as expected wayne didn’t recognize himself in the template the parts that fit his description. wayne mike q. and any animal activist has it all over you ‘cuz we have the educated advantage over your ignorance!!! take this for what it is we don’t argue . we educate. and I tell it like it is in plain American language!!!!

  • Mike Quinoa says:

    Wayne for a person who dislikes “emotional and brainwashed comments” do you automatically oppose any cause advanced by PETA? If so that is not the rationale of an objective neutral person but rather the emotional and brainwashed comment of someone with an agenda. As far as your attempted insult I’ll quote from the primer “Other good tactics are namecalling talking down to them also known as condensation and generalization these are especially good when you’re losing the argument.” Chancey a cursory internet check indicated the killing of the Archduke Ferdinand sparked WW 1. He was a big deer hunter and was assassinated by the Black Hand. Okay now you can make your point.

  • observer says:

    wayne this website isn’t about arguments so why are you and others who share your views under the misconception that we care about your arguments??? if you and the others don’t want to become educated about animals rights then why don’t all of you use your time somewhere else to be productive??? expecting answers. all I read from antis is the dumbest comments that defy reality and imagination!!! as far as I’m concerned you stand for staying stupid!!! trust me on this one Mike Q could whip your ass any day any time!!! now go back to kissing rick bermans ass you brainwashed fool!!!! LOL

  • wayne says:

    Mike as a frequent antipeta blogger I try and formulate decent arguements about what I stand for cant wait to read those emotional and brainwashed comments about THAT statement but on the same note some of those who share some of my views do fit your description. I hate your organization but do appreciate a good insult. so in conclusion touche…asshole.

  • Chancey says:

    Mike your psoting did I do that? made my day. Yes we are all flawed. I am an animal lover I eat beef chicken and fish and I am perfectly comfortable with that hypocrisy. Its seems that little effort has been spent addressing the Ringling Bros. circus here. Who cares when people have Vick to kick around? Trivia question for you who is the Archduke Ferninand and what is his significance in world history?

  • Mike Quinoa says:

    I posted this before but it didn’t get put up. Just wanted to thank everybody for their kind remarks and the marriage proposal and the great additions to the primer.

  • Mike Quinoa says:

    Oh yes Kelly. Rick Berman of the ludicrously named industryfunded front group Center For Consumer Freedom. They hate AR people. Two books that opened my eyes to what really goes on in the world were “Toxic Sludge Is Good For You” and “Trust Us We’re Experts” by John Stauber and Sheldon Rampton of the Center For Media Democracy. The first book has a chilling account of how US Surgical entrapped an animal rights activist in an attempt to discredit the whole AR movement. You can order the books from prwatch.org or get them from the library. Well worth reading.

  • Robyn Newkirk says:

    One problem Mike Q They may not totally understand what you’re saying. Maybe you shouldn’t use such big words. Try to limit it to about first grade level writing. Hehe

  • Robyn Newkirk says:

    EAS keith and especially ANONYMOUS coward can’t say your name This message on how to PETAbash was describing PETAbashers themselves. DUH!!!

  • 007 says:

    dear MikeQuinoi BRILLIANT! love love LOVE IT! DO post it again and again as a real reference to those it speaks of and… because we all can use such a keen sense humor amidst so much disturbing ignorance!

  • observer says:

    Mike Q THANK YOU TWICE!!! thanks for the fantastic template!!! humorous yet soooo true. humor is much needed sometimes and I needed it!! I read it a few times! you should know me by now. I hate bullshit and lies. I say it like it is and truth be told!!! you wrote the truth without bullshit without lies and truth with humor!! great combination!!! yes there have been a lot of outstanding posts on this website. thanks for the information on how to save them. will do!!! meantime do u have eny info on how ot git a life stop the war stop child abductons before they occur??? us animal activists have to know how to do all of these things and a lot more ya know!!! LOL

  • Mike Quinoa says:

    Thanks very much observer. There are a lot of good points made on these blogs and you should be able to save or print the text if you want to. I’ve saved a lot of inspired writings from other posters and they frequently present a side of the issue that hadn’t occurred to me. So just highlight with your mouse the section of text you want to saveprint and and then copy and paste into Notepad Windows or TextEdit Mac. You can collect pertinent info from all over the web and keep adding to this word file. I keep folders on Vivisection Factory Farming etc. It gives you a good database of handpicked information you can access quickly for posts or letters to the editor.

  • observer says:

    Mike Q Your fantastic template is the work of an absolute genius!!! Not laughing at you but laughing at them couldn’t stop laughing with each point!!! LOL soooooo true!!!! I wish I could print it out!!! The last sentence was really a killer!!!! LOL I wish the antis would read your true observations but they still wouldn’t recognize themselves or they would think that they r rite!!!! DUUHHH!!! ooops!!! did I accuse them of thinking??? LOL bullydawg and ana great great addendums!!!! soooooo true!!!! LOL

  • Anonymous says:

    that sucked ass. do me a favor and go blow your damn head off.

  • kelly says:

    Mike Quinoa if you want to know where some of these marginal proabuse nuts get their direction take a look at httpwww.consumerdeception.com This guy works for the proabuse industries. He solicits the dog breeders dog fighters puppy millers hunters furriers and other assorted profiteers to spread his propaganda for him. That’s why they all sound the same same source.

  • Jaclyn says:

    Thank you for that!!!!! UGH!!! It feels good to hear all these things from someone else!!! Thanks guys!!!!

  • Maureen says:

    Fantastic job Jason this is what is called dedication and a big Thank you to all those wonderful people giving their time and love for those poor abused elephants. Well done!

  • Mike Quinoa says:

    Thanks guys for the great additions we need more belly laughs on these blogs. I was just having too much fun writing that post not!. And I got one marriage proposal out of it. Jack Sorry didn’t mean to spoil your blog.

  • Michele says:

    EAS Mike Q does not condone violence it was sarcasm.

  • Ana says:

    EAS You missed Mike Q’s point!!! He was being sarcastic about PETAhaters and animalhaters in general! I do agree that humility is essential something our capitalistic materialistic society doesn’t understand. The animals were here first so yes they can live simply without us. And yes Mike is without apathy because he cares about the other animals.

  • BullyDawg says:

    Mike don’t forget that… 1 We are all gay not that there’s anything wrong with that. 2 That there are “more important issues in the world” because everyone knows there is NO connection between animal abuse and human suffering. 3 That PETA kills dogs and cats all the time hmm how would you rather go out…falling asleep peacefully while someone strokes your fur or being beaten and electrocuted? Tough choice huh?. 4 That ESPN shows hunting and fishing all the time again for the 18465722nd time just because it’s legal doesn’t make it right. 5 And oh yeah “they’re just dogs” yeah right tell that to Fluffy when you get home. Oh and EAS you do know that Mike was being sarcastic as was I right?

  • Ana says:

    Mike Q Thanks for your “how to”…refreshing!!! Sometimes we all need humor when dealing with animal haters. But I must point out to you that you forgot the “yoll ware lethar and eat dem animules…hipocrits”. And the ” u have sex wit dem animules two”. Great activites in spreading the message about the cruelest show on earth!!!!

  • stephie says:

    Thanks Mike…that was a great! Too funny!

  • Canaduck says:

    That was HILARIOUS Mike!! Nice job. The way that slideshow goes in and out of focus when changing pictures makes me feel a little dizzy though. Blech.

  • EAS says:

    Mike Quinoa See here is an example of why our world is falling a part Ignorance and Arrogance. You have a lot to learn about life and the nature of existence. We need nature to exist. They don’t need us. If we get rid of nature than we become extinct. Protecting and saving all life on this planet is crucial for our survival. It’s important to humble ourselves and at the same time learn the facts. Also why are you so angry? Why do you love violence so much? Are you without apathy. And what does this have to do with this blog anyway? Do a little fact checking and read the blog that you’re commenting on before you make anymore comments.

  • keith says:

    Was Mike Quinoa writing any sense ? people !! keep it short and sweet gets the best results what !

  • deelia says:

    marry me mike quinoa!

  • Mike Quinoa says:

    How to write an effective PETAbashing post on Jack’s blog   Just to save time for PETAphobes wishing to post on this blog I’ve created a handy template you can use so you have time for other more productive activities such as shooting ferocious tree squirrels and braving the wilds of the canned hunt.   First above all include the “h” word somewhere in your text. You know “hypocrite”. Turn off your spellcheck to ensure you misspell the word. We don’t want to look too smart you know. This is the absolute best insult you can give to a vegetarian or animal rights activist. They think they’re so perfect. See if we can find one chink in their armor it defeats their whole argument. Plus when we prove they’re not perfect we can be slobs too. And why feel guilty about exploiting animals. Those hypocrits see I misspeeled it on purpose or you can put “sick” after the misspeeling to show you misspeeled it kill bacteria in their mouth when they gargle so as far as I’m concerned it’s open season on all creatures.     A phrase you have to insert somewhere is “get a life”. These animal rights activists just waste their time trying to make a better world for animals and the planet. So I’m going to waste a bit of my time telling them they’re wasting their time. See what is living if you can’t maim or blow away an animal once in a while? They don’t know what they’re missing. Besides we are superior to animals. God gave us “dominion” whatever that means over them. I think it means we can do whatever we bloody well please with them and not worry about it. If we feel any guilt remember it’s not our fault since in this ancient book here written by us in the first place it says we can. Or at least that’s the way I like to interpret it. Don’t forget to include the old chestnut PETA means People Eating Tasty Animals. I know it’s been used once or twice before but it’s one of those inside jokes that never seems to get old. And besides it shows how clever we are.     Another good way to stick it to them is to say they like animals better than people. Not me. Humans always come before animals. I like humans the best. Of course never mention that somewhere in the world we’re always blowing each other’s brains out or torturing each other or that I can’t stand my neighbor. We also like to subjugate other races and sexes and stuff like that. But we still like people the best. Unless of course they are members of PETA.     Always finish off with a strong statement such as “I’ma gonna grill me 28 ounces of juicy steak right now…mmmmmmmmmm.” This proves that we’re virile meateating menwomen and not wimps like them.     Anyway I hope this helps you. Other good tactics are namecalling talking down to them also known as condensation and generalization these are especially good when you’re losing the argument. And don’t worry about the factsthey just get in the way. Oh and I almost forgot use the phrase “you people” a lot. That’s called “stereotyping” or something like thatbut me I just use one hand on the keyboard. You know why . Thank God for Viagra.

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