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Correcting Roger Clemens’ Erectile Dysfunction

Written by PETA | March 31, 2010

To reference Idol judge Randy Jackson, seven-time Cy Young Award–winning pitcher Roger Clemens is a bit pitchy in the bedroom. According to his mistress, Mindy McCready, “The Rocket” (ironically) suffers from “a lot of problems” with erectile dysfunction. Now, PETA’s got a pitch that may help him, his sexual partners, and animals: Go vegan! We even sent him a copy of our vegetarian/vegan starter kit to help get him started.

Doctors and nutritionists agree that the best way to prevent artery blockage as well as other conditions that cause impotence is to eat a diet high in fiber, including plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Nobody likes to rubber-arm in the bedroom, and these foods will scrub the plaque off Clemens’ arterial walls to get him back on top of his game in no time.

 

Rocket Boy

 

Whether you call it veggie Viagra or a legal performance enhancer, going vegan won’t just get you through the night—it will get you through life.

Written by Logan Scherer

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  • HB says:

    Are we really still clinging to this myth that fat clogs arteries?

  • Liz says:

    Sorry Steve but that is just the problem. These animals absolutely do NOT live “in a safe comfortable environment.” QUITE the opposite as has been shown time time time again. As for nutrition to quote “The health benefits of a vegetarian diet are impressive. Dr. T. Colin Campbell nutritional researcher at Cornell University and director of the largest epidemiological study in history says “The vast majority of all cancers cardiovascular diseases and other forms of degenerative illness can be prevented simply by adopting a plantbased diet.” The American Dietetic Association the nation’s largest organization of nutrition professionals states that vegetarians have lower rates of heart disease cancer diabetes obesity and other health problems. By adopting a nutritious vegan diet you will likely lose unwanted weight have more energy and dramatically lower your risk of various diseases.” They aren’t emotionless machines. They are feeling beings who want to lead their own lives just as people do. As for being bred to such a life that’s just silly. That’s like saying that black people were born bred to be slaves utterly ridiculous. Sounds like you’re simply trying to justify your choices because you’re afraid of change. If you really care about animals their welfare like you say you do I suggest doing a little more diggingresearching and soulsearching on these issues.

  • Margarita says:

    I still think that going vegan is still the best way to help animals that are raised for consumption. Because after all animals undoubtely are always one way or another going to be abused.

  • steve nast says:

    going vegan isn’t the only way to cure impotence. things like smoking and a stressful lifestyle can lead to it as well. clemens no doubt gets stressed at work carrying an MLB team on his shoulders. however eating meat will not always lead to impotence. there are literally hundreds of ways you can still enjoy an omnivorous diet and remain sexually active. in fact many recent studies and nutritionists agree that meat should be a staple in a healthy diet. while i do agree that animal cruelty is a horrible abomination i dont think that raising them in a safe comfortable environment qualifies as being cruel. after all livestock was bred for generations to be exactly that food. i dont think that cutting it from your diet is completely necessary.

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