PETA’s Showing Men How to Hide a Boner, in Style
Guys are flocking to get a load of PETA’s latest video about how to hide a boner in style. While a hard-on can be handled, hard data can’t be hidden: A vegan man is more likely to have his trouser tent pitch itself at any moment.
Now suit up and square up—because the guys in our other virile videos are giving big energy.
‘Load Your Gun’: A Western Showdown Spoof Puts a New Spin on ‘Cocked and Loaded’
‘Sharpen Your Sword’: A Fencing Duel Proves Who’s Really Got the Strongest ‘Point’
‘Hit Harder’: A Karate Protégé Reveals How He Earned His Black Belt
Why Being Vegan Is Better for Men—and Their Manhood
It’s not all dick jokes. The same artery-clogging, cholesterol-heavy fats found in meat, eggs, and dairy can contribute to poor circulation—leading to a performance review you don’t want. So if things aren’t exactly … rising to the occasion, it’s time to make a change.
Science backs PETA’s claim: Vegan men may have the edge in the bedroom, and compassion doesn’t hurt either. Here’s the phallic facts:
- While hormonal issues, nerve damage, and injuries can cause erectile dysfunction, the most common cause is cardiovascular problems, which can be impacted by the high cholesterol and saturated fat found in meat, eggs, and dairy.
- Doctors warn that erectile dysfunction can be an early sign of heart disease, making it an important warning signal.
- Research shows that animal-free diets are linked to better health, including lower risk of cardiovascular disease, heart disease, obesity, high cholesterol, and type 2 diabetes.
- Vegan eating can also improve blood vessel health and erectile dysfunction (and in some cases, may even reverse erectile dysfunction).
- Vegan men have higher sperm counts and better sperm quality than non-vegans.
- One comprehensive survey found that dating profiles containing the words “vegan,” “vegetarian,” or “veggie” were 74% more likely to get a message than the average profile.
Meat, eggs, and dairy don’t just come from somewhere—they’re stolen from someone. Every chicken, cow, pig, and fish is an individual with a life that belongs to them, not to humans. And when industries sell their bodies and secretions as “products,” they’re turning living beings into meat, egg, and milk-making machines—something no one deserves.
Did PETA’s Campaign Tickle Your Pickle? We’re Just Getting Warmed Up.
If these saucy videos got you curious for more, dive into PETA’s sexiest viral campaigns—packed with cheeky, NSFW hits that will turn you on to compassionate living.
And now that we’ve got you standing at attention, order PETA’s free Vegan Starter Kit to make the switch today. Choosing vegan means refusing to fund industries that take animals’ lives and bodily autonomy for a sandwich, a snack, or a convenience. Being vegan is the best thing you can do for yourself, our fellow animals, the planet, and your lover.
Vital Farms calls it “retirement.” It’s mass slaughter. And when a shed collapsed on thousands of birds, that’s what was allegedly suggested.
With the rise of alpha-gal syndrome in Martha’s Vineyard—often linked to meat and dairy allergies—PETA’s “Lone Star Tick Cookbook” is here to help!
The images, reportedly captured at a dairy farm in Iowa, show the suffering the industry doesn’t want you to see.
