Worried about what will happen to Rover when the Rapture comes? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets has you covered.
Evangelical Christians who want to ascend to heaven during the Rapture—but who worry about leaving their heathen hounds and hamsters behind—can now rest easy. For a mere $110, this company of animal-loving atheists and “certified sinners” (how often can you use that on a résumé?) promises to “step in when you step up to Jesus.”
Also, I’ll be damned if I’m going anywhere without my dog, Henry. But that’s just me.
Written by Amy Elizabeth