Jeremy Piven’s Mercury Scare
Whether he’s playing snarky talent agent Ari on Entourage or starring in blockbusters like Rock ‘n Rolla and Smokin’ Aces, we think Emmy Award–winning actor Jeremy Piven is fantastic … but something tells me that sea kittens might have another opinion.
Piven had to cut his Broadway performance short recently when doctors advised him to stay off the stage because of his body’s high level of mercury. Could it be sea kitten–related? Not sure, but whatever it is, sounds to me like Jeremy needs a little advice.
So, we’re going to send him a little vegetarian-friendly care package. After all, in Norfolk, we know whereof we speak: We even have a local restaurant that serves faux fish tacos! They have all the taste with none of the fin or heavy metals. Plus, sea kittens feel pain just as much as dogs, cats, and I do, thanks to our similar central nervous systems.
Mercury poisoning, which is linked to the consumption of sea kittens, can cause severe health problems for humans, including brain damage, memory loss, personality change, and tremors. Now, I like Ari just the way he is—so please Jer, ditch the fish!
We’ve got some fantastic faux-fish recipes so everyone can get in on the act.
So here’s hoping Jeremy does what’s right … for his health, for the environment, and for all the sea kittens of the world.
Written by Christine Doré
