Suspended Slugger Could Be Looking for Relief From Impotence in All the Wrong Places
 
For Immediate Release:
May 12, 2009
 
Contact:
Dan Shannon 757-622-7382

Los Angeles -- This morning, PETA sent an urgent letter to Los Angeles Dodgers slugger Manny Ramirez urging him to go vegetarian. PETA's advice comes on the heels of Ramirez's 50-game suspension for testing positive for a banned substance--in this case a female fertility drug that's typically taken by steroid users to help their bodies produce testosterone. Because it is believed that Ramirez could be suffering from impotence, PETA points out that the saturated fat and cholesterol in meat blocks the flow of blood to all the body's vital organs, not just to the heart.
 
"We want to turn Manny on to the wonders of 'veggie Viagra'--a healthy vegetarian diet--so that he can get his 'big stick' back in the game without having to use any weird 'performance-enhancing' drugs," says PETA Assistant Director Dan Shannon. "Guys who stuff their bellies full of dead animals in the kitchen are often unable to score in the bedroom."
 
For more information, please visit PETA's blog.
 
PETA's letter to Manny Ramirez follows.
 
May 12, 2009
 
Manny Ramirez
c/o Scott Boras Corporation
 
Dear Manny:
 
On behalf of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), I'm writing to offer a suggestion that may help you reclaim the nickname "Man-Ram." To obtain the kind of stamina that you're looking for--without the use of any performance-enhancing drugs that can get you banned from baseball--use "vegetarian Viagra," a diet full of whole grains, beans, lentils, green vegetables, fresh fruits, nuts, and more. And a vegetarian diet will help to unblock the arteries to all your vital organs.
 
Impotence is a health problem facing millions of American men, possibly because of our nation's addiction to meat, eggs, and dairy products. The strongest of animals--the bull elephant, the mighty ox, and the stallion--are all vegans and have more stamina than a few of the strongest men put together. Not only is consuming animal products bad for your love life, it could also lead to numerous other health problems, including heart disease, cancer, and obesity, so please watch out!
 
Brewers star Prince Fielder, Olympic great Carl Lewis, NBA standout Raja Bell, extreme marathon winner Scott Jurek, and Ultimate Fighting champion Mac Danzig are just a few of the top athletes who are thriving on a meat-free diet. And once you're back at Dodger Stadium, you can enjoy some of the delicious vegetarian options sold at its concession stands, like veggie dogs, veggie platters, and salads, as well as the old standbys of peanuts and Cracker Jacks.
 
So, Manny, get your big stick back in the game by going vegetarian. And good luck, Slugger.
 
Sincerely,

Dan Shannon
Director