My own extended family and circle of friends are a ravening bunch of carnivorous barbarians who would gladly eat their own dogs and cats if they ran out of ground beef one day. But my colleagues have informed me that, thankfully, not all families are like this, and what with Christmas round the corner and all, they’ve suggested that I write an entry focusing on some of the fun, funny, and occasionally kind of weird gift ideas for animal lovers that we’re currently featuring in the PETA Catalog. With that in mind, here’s a top 10 for you. Because although there may be fewer animal lovers in the world than we would like, everybody loves a top 10 list. And that includes you. So read and enjoy. And Merry Christmas.
|1. The Cat Vomit Warning Sign. If you like cats, vomit, and signs, you’re not going to do much better than this. It’s also a great way of letting guests know to tread carefully if little Mittens is prone to expressing herself via hairballs.|
|2. My Dog/Cat is a Rescue T-Shirt. Tell the world that you rescued your furry friend from a shelter! Bragging is OK if it’s also a public service.|
|3. Eat No Animal T-Shirt. Paul McCartney himself wears this very T-shirt in his latest video. And if it’s good enough for Sir Paul, it’s good enough for your family. (Recommended for vegetarians—otherwise it’s just confusing).|
|4. Let’s Have a Dog Party. The latest book by PETA President Ingrid Newkirk is actually a hell of a lot more practical than it sounds. Full of fun tips that will help you make your canine companion the happiest pup on the block, it’s a perfect gift for those people who never stop talking about their dog. You know who you are, Allie.|
|5. Dogfighters are Cowardly Scum T-Shirt. Put animal abusers in their place and make a fashion statement at the same time. Just by wearing this T-shirt, you’ll be accomplishing two of the most important things you’ll ever do.|
|6. Be Scratch Happy, Don’t Declaw BackScratcher. Is your current backscratcher missing a humorous, cat-friendly message? Never fear, we have the answer. This is an ideal present for cat-lovers with itchy backs.|
|7.This KFCCruelty.com Bobblehead Ink Pen is perfect for composing that angry letter to KFC about their refusal to make even minimal changes to alleviate the suffering of the hundreds of millions of chickens killed for their restaurants each year. To be fair, it’s also good for writing, like, other stuff.|
|8. ‘PETA Saves’ Piggy Bank. Ah, so many levels of meaning. PETA “saves,” because PETA saves pigs, but you’re also “saving” money by using the piggy bank! OK, maybe it’s not quite so fun when you explain it. But it really is pretty darn cute.|
|9. Humane Smart Mousetrap. Catch and release, baby. It’s good for the mice, and it’s good for your soul.|
|10. And finally, the Gift Sets for the Animal People. In all honesty, this is more of a gift to us than it is to the person in question—but it’s a fun way of giving a donation in someone’s name. Pick the perfect donation package for your animal-loving family member, or, if you have a hunter in the family, why not give them the Peace for Animals Gift just to annoy them?|
Oh, and for what it’s worth, everyone in my family’s getting a copy of this PETA book of New Yorker cartoons. That way I can eat my tofurkey in peace on Christmas day while they all laugh pompously and pretend they understand the esoteric jokes.