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Thinking About a Paleo Diet? Evolve!

Most men keep up with the times. We buy the latest technological gadgets, shop at Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s, and wear stylish vegan suits and leather-free shoes. We prefer the sporty—yet still retro-looking—2014 Volkswagen Beetle to the vintage VW Bug. We’ve evolved. We even wash our own socks—sometimes.

So why would we want to eat like cavemen?

The Paleo Diet, which includes a lot of cholesterol-laden meat, fish, and eggs, is good for guys who want to look like Fred Flintstone but not for modern health-conscious men who want six-pack abs and a strong heart.

These days, more and more men, including powerful former politicians such as Bill Clinton and Al Gore; successful, fit actors, including Samuel L. Jackson and Jared Leto; and ripped athletes, such as mixed martial arts fighter Mac Danzig and superheavyweight boxing champ Cam F. Awesome, are chowing down on vegan foods. Heck, vegan strongman Patrik Baboumian, who set a world record by walking 33 feet with more than half a ton across his shoulders, can probably bench press those VW Beetles that we’re so fond of.

Most people are trying to eat less meat. It’s 2014. The Paleolithic Era was quite a long time ago. It started more than 2 million years ago and ended about 10,000 years ago. People who lived during this time ate rodents and wild animals, not pigs, cows, and chickens who are confined to filthy factory farms and castrated, dehorned, and mutilated in other barbaric ways. The crops that were available during the Stone Age were a lot different than the crops that are available today.

There’s little to no research to support any supposed health benefits of a Paleo Diet. But recent studies—and common sense—suggest that meat-based diets contribute to cancer, heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, and weight problems. An expert panel selected by U.S. News & World Report rated 32 different diets, and The Paleo Diet tied with the Dukan Diet for last place.

Men who actually manage to lose weight on The Paleo Diet tend to pack it all back on before they can even say “chick magnet.” And people who follow a strict Paleo Diet miss out on the benefits of eating whole grains, which provide them with protein, B and E vitamins, iron, and other important nutrients.

The Paleo Diet is unhealthy, inhumane, expensive, and unsustainable. It belongs in the history books. Although it has some sensible components—it calls for lots of fruits and vegetables, forbids dairy products, and limits sugar and processed foods, which are usually high in sodium—it is essentially a throwback to a less enlightened time.

Seriously, it’s much easier and more beneficial to go vegan than to follow a prehistoric diet plan—unless you’re Captain Caveman, that is.

Besides, despite all the progress that modern-day men have made, some women still accuse us of acting like cavemen. Don’t fuel the fire by eating like one.

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