Don’t get caught off guard when you’re arguing against animal experiments! We’ve got the 411 you need to make the animals’ case without getting defensive or huffy.

“Animals in labs are treated kindly.”

“Tell me if this sounds ‘kind’ to you: At the City of Hope in California, animals starved to death and suffocated in their own waste ‘by accident.’ Other labs implanted newborn kittens with electrodes, burned beagles, dripped chemicals into rabbits’ eyes, and crammed chimpanzees for life in cages barely larger than their own bodies. That’s kind, all right—kind of sick!”

“If we didn’t use animals, we would have to test new drugs on people.”

“Guess what? We already do! Rats and dogs and pigs and humans are all so different that results from animal tests can’t be applied to humans. Many animal-tested drugs have had to be taken off the market after causing hundreds of deaths or injuries to the first people who took them. If we used modern, non-animal technology, we’d have safer drugs, not more dangerous ones.”

“Animal tests have helped scientists find cures for diseases.”

“That’s because they didn’t try something else! Who says you can only get somewhere by walking, when you can also run or skateboard or ride your bike? Taking a train or plane will get you there much faster. The same thing goes for finding cures. Chances are, we’d be better off today if we hadn’t relied on animal tests, because the differences between animals and humans are so huge. Think about it—do you look like a rat? Human clinical studies, research using cadavers, and computer simulations are faster, more reliable, and cheaper than animal tests.”

“Doctors have to practice on animals to learn how to perform surgery on humans.”

“Not! More and more med students are graduating without ever having used animals; instead, they learn by helping experienced surgeons. In Great Britain, it’s against the law for medical students to practice surgery on animals, and top U.S. medical schools like Harvard, Yale, and Stanford have given the old heave-ho to old-fashioned animal labs.”