She TOLD You to Get Off Her Lawn!
It’s a classic story: Boys play with football, football goes over the fence, elderly neighbor refuses to return football, elderly neighbor is arrested ….
Wait, what? No, seriously—89-year-old Edna Jester of Ohio, in a move straight out of every kids’ movie I ever watched growing up, declined to return the errant football that made its way onto her lawn. Here’s where the story changes, though; Ms. Jester was then arrested and charged with petty theft for refusing to hand over the ball—and you know we just had to get involved. Fortunately (for Ms. Jester, anyway), the charges have since been dropped.
“But,” our hearts cry, “what about the kids who lost their football? Will they ever get it back?”
Probably not—as of yesterday, one of the kids’ fathers told news sources that his son just wanted the $15 football back. Well, we hear ya, Paul—and you know what? Being the charitable people that we are, we are more than happy to send your son a football (leather-free, of course) to replace the one he lost.
Heck, we’ll even send two. Ya know, in case the first one ends up over the fence.
You can check out the letter we’re sending to the boy’s mother—or you can check out where you can get your very own leather-free football! (Defiant elderly neighbor not included.)
Written by Amanda Schinke
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