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Stalk-ers Bring Sexy Back

Written by PETA | May 14, 2010
Fir0002/Flagstaffotos / GFDL

No, not that kind of stalker—they’re just creepy. Think celery stalks. The authors of a new book, Stay Young, have dubbed celery “vegetable Viagra,” after research has shown that it boosts men’s pheromone levels, making them more attractive to women, increasing libidos, and strengthening climaxes. Of course, that’s hardly news to us. PETA has been touting the aphrodisiac qualities of vegan food for ages—we even beat them to the “Veggie Viagra” line.

So remember, guys, if you want to score big in the bedroom, lettuce help you make the switch to a vegan diet. Whether you’re into firm melons or long stems, you won’t leek prematurely or artichoke when the big moment comes. You’ll be pumpkin with confidence, but ladies, ignore his corny lines, and just ask, “Is that a celery stalk in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”*

Written by Jeff Mackey

*I wasn’t sure it would happen, but I’m all punned out. Can you think of any good ones that I missed?

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  • Toby says:

    Wow… I had a childhood friend who told me that about celery about ten years ago and I thought he was just weird! Maybe he detected the androstenone. I guess his Ritalin may have influenced that along with his interest in food stimulants increase the senses sex drive and he could detect fooddetails very well because of his overeating problem studying of food anecdotally. Either that or he heard it from a rural person I would guess. I’m thrilled that he noticed… maybe it’s common knowledge amongst some rural people they figured out the benefits of cannabis before the US FDA at least… they live very anecdotally in rural America and that isn’t always good…I’m still surprised by this!

  • lulu says:

    It’s PEACHy that sexy veg men TURNIP everywhere. They prove there’s no need to grAPPLE with guilt for eating animals. ORANGE you glad you’re one of them all you vegan fellows out there?