PETA to Omelette Festival: Scramble Tofu, Not Eggs
There’s a little town in LA called Abbeville, whose claim to fame is its annual Giant Omelette Festival. Held each fall, the event centers on—brace yourself—a giant omelette that is made from more than 5000 eggs*. PETA Senior VP Lisa Lange—a former Louisianian and Cajun whose dad grew up in Abbeville—got wind of the event, she was all over it, wasting no time in firing off a letter to the organizers asking that they replace the eggs in this year’s omelette with tofu. PETA is even offering to pay for all the tofu . . . What a deal!
*In addition to being utterly disgusting (eggs are, like, chicken periods, after all), eggs are a product of quite possibly the most abusive industry on the planet. Egg laying hens endure a nightmare that lasts about two years, during which time a large portion of each hen’s beak is cut off with a burning-hot blade, and they are shoved into tiny wire “battery” cages with five to 11 other hens. Even in the best scenario, each hen will spend the rest of her life crowded in a space about the size of a file drawer with four other hens, unable to lift even a single wing. Additionally, since male chicks are worthless to the egg industry, every year millions of them are tossed into trash bags to suffocate or are thrown into high-speed grinders called macerators while they are still alive. Sorry to be such a buzz kill here, but hey, that’s my job.