PETA Campaigners Say ‘FML’
We’ve all had moments when life throws you such a curve ball that you just want to say, “Eff it!” I like to keep those moments to myself, but FMyLife.com is Internet proof that some people (lots of people) like to share their embarrassing, funny, and frustrating moments with the world (anonymously of course). The posts are so hilarious that the site has become my newest online addiction.
The posts on FMyLife got me thinking about PETA’s campaigners. Does everything always go right for our warriors on the front lines as they wear bikinis in blizzards and parade down crowded streets with little more than pasties to cover their naughty bits? So I asked around and, sure enough, dug up a few great FML stories to share:
I went to a fire station dressed as a Lettuce Lady to hand out Tofurky sandwiches. The firefighters just stared at my chest the entire time I was trying to explain the benefits of a vegetarian diet. At the end of the hour, I looked down and saw my fake boob (and a little bit of my real one) hanging out of my lettuce. FML
I organized a “naked” demonstration in a busy downtown location. I was responsible for talking to the media and the police, should they stop by—and they did. The officer was trying to get me to pack up our display when I smugly whipped out my permit and handed it to him. He took one look at it and said, “This is for tomorrow.” FML
Before Christmas, I was protesting outside a KFC holding a sign reading “KFC: On Santa’s Naughty List” and wearing a sexy Santa costume. Thanks to extremely high winds, I spent the entire demonstration trying to keep my skirt from flying up. Despite my greatest attempts, the story that came out in the paper the next day made a point of describing my “pink ‘Red Sox’ panties.” FML
Last year, I flew to Knoxville to protest a fishing tournament that was taking place the next morning, only to find that my fish costume had never arrived. I spent three hours running around Wal-Mart, throwing every blue and green sparkly thing that I could find into my cart, and then I sat up all night constructing a fish costume out of pieces of fabric, blue lingerie, and shimmery window trimmings. At the crack of dawn I was ready to prepare my “fish” volunteer by spraying her face, arms, and chest blue with some nauseating hairspray dye. After all the scrambling and improvising she looked great, and we drove to the fishing tournament only to find that it had been canceled due to lack of interest. FML
Yep, it’s definitely difficult to make everything go perfectly when you’re on the road campaigning for animals. And now I’m wondering if you have any FML animal rights moments to share.
Written by Shawna Flavell