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PETA Campaigners Say ‘FML’

Written by PETA | April 7, 2009 / CC

We’ve all had moments when life throws you such a curve ball that you just want to say, “Eff it!” I like to keep those moments to myself, but is Internet proof that some people (lots of people) like to share their embarrassing, funny, and frustrating moments with the world (anonymously of course). The posts are so hilarious that the site has become my newest online addiction.

The posts on FMyLife got me thinking about PETA’s campaigners. Does everything always go right for our warriors on the front lines as they wear bikinis in blizzards and parade down crowded streets with little more than pasties to cover their naughty bits? So I asked around and, sure enough, dug up a few great FML stories to share:

I went to a fire station dressed as a Lettuce Lady to hand out Tofurky sandwiches. The firefighters just stared at my chest the entire time I was trying to explain the benefits of a vegetarian diet. At the end of the hour, I looked down and saw my fake boob (and a little bit of my real one) hanging out of my lettuce. FML

I organized a “naked” demonstration in a busy downtown location. I was responsible for talking to the media and the police, should they stop by—and they did. The officer was trying to get me to pack up our display when I smugly whipped out my permit and handed it to him. He took one look at it and said, “This is for tomorrow.” FML

Before Christmas, I was protesting outside a KFC holding a sign reading “KFC: On Santa’s Naughty List” and wearing a sexy Santa costume. Thanks to extremely high winds, I spent the entire demonstration trying to keep my skirt from flying up. Despite my greatest attempts, the story that came out in the paper the next day made a point of describing my “pink ‘Red Sox’ panties.” FML

Last year, I flew to Knoxville to protest a fishing tournament that was taking place the next morning, only to find that my fish costume had never arrived. I spent three hours running around Wal-Mart, throwing every blue and green sparkly thing that I could find into my cart, and then I sat up all night constructing a fish costume out of pieces of fabric, blue lingerie, and shimmery window trimmings. At the crack of dawn I was ready to prepare my “fish” volunteer by spraying her face, arms, and chest blue with some nauseating hairspray dye. After all the scrambling and improvising she looked great, and we drove to the fishing tournament only to find that it had been canceled due to lack of interest. FML

Yep, it’s definitely difficult to make everything go perfectly when you’re on the road campaigning for animals. And now I’m wondering if you have any FML animal rights moments to share.

Written by Shawna Flavell

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  • Vic G. C. says:

    Today I woke up took a shower brushed my teeth got dressed and was left to take care of the house while my physicallyailing mother was off to physical therapy. I logged onto my email inbox and I saw an email from YouTube about a video notification. My 20100208 video blog got taken down because it “contained footage that glorifies animal violence”. It doesn’t “glorify animal violence” it criticizes animal violence. I am a PETA member. I was using the undercover footage of a Chinese fur farm to illustrate my point in a letter I wrote to Vogue editor Anna Wintour. I emailed a complaint to YouTube telling them to reinstate my video and YouTube refused to claiming that “Anna Wintour has done nothing wrong to our society” and that I “had degraded her social status” both of which are total lies. And yet YouTube allows other people to post sickening videos of themselves murdering animals without getting their channels suspended. FML

  • Bananas says:

    We where doing the “rather go naked than wear fur” campaign in Charlotte NC. We stood there with nothing but our sign covering us for the news camera crews when a bicycle cop rode by looking real hard so hard in fact that he rode into traffic and was hit by a car. The cameras caught it on tape he was not hurt other than the bruised ego!

  • KiD says:

    Once I showed up to a protest against Nike due to Michael Vicks cruelty to dogs signs and cotume and all only to find that they had stopped using Vick to endorse they’re product and I uh… just didn’t get the memo that there WAS NO PROTEST!! But I did turn a few heads dressed as a bloody canine… FML. Just to get this going guys. D

  • Amy says:

    lmao! I adore FML it’s the most hilarious website ever XD

  • Canaduck says:

    Haha those are funny stories.