An Open Letter to Leather-Loving Lotharios

Dear Guys,

Wearing Axe’s new leather-inspired “Instinct” fragrance will not get you mobbed by a horde of horny honeys swooning over the smell of cow hides.

There’s nothing sexy about smelling like or sporting rotten animal skins. (And yes, we have sexpert Pamela Anderson backing us up here.)

To prove that point, PETA is creating a much more realistic, slaughterhouse-inspired leather scent:

Ah, the essence of blood, guts, urine, feces, and fear—all bottled up.

Believe us, if you show up for a date wearing “Instinct,” leather, or even our own “Eau D’ Abattoir,” our first instinct will be to slam the door in your face.

Our advice? Pleather yourself, pronto.

Love,

The girls from PETA