Mark Wahlberg On The Back Up

If you get that subject line, then you’re old enough to remember Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. I’m not ashamed to admit it, I used to kick it to Good Vibrations back in the nine one. And like the rest of the civilized world, I’ve followed Mark Wahlberg’s career over the years. Basketball Diaries, Boogie Nights, I Heart Huckabees, The Italian Job (with PETA pal Charlize Theron), and oh, let’s not forget the best picture of ’06, The Departed.

Anyway, as you can see, I’m a fan. So I was pretty bummed when The New York Times reported that my boy was spotted eating foie gras, which is so insanely cruel that Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a bill banning it in California. PETA immediately wrote to Wahlberg asking him if he did in fact dine on the dish of fatty liver—that comes from force-fed geese who have pipes rammed down their throats for weeks before being slaughtered and served. His publicist replied right away saying, “Thanks, Mark did not eat fois gras, though it was on the menu as an appetizer,” which put the PETA posse at ease.

Thank God, because I really didn’t want to have to eBay my Entourage DVDs . . . or get rid of my Funky Bunch cassettes. Yes, cassettes. Give me a break, it was a long time ago.