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George Clooney, He’s What’s for Dinner

Written by PETA | March 12, 2009
babble / CC
George Clooney

We just received possibly one of our oddest donation offers to date: George Clooney’s sweat, apparently soaked up by a towel taken from a Washington, D.C., gym. I’ll give you a moment to take that in.

We must admit that George is a handsome man, so it was hard for me to overcome the temptation to just sit in a corner and fondle the towel until the end of time, but we learned that there is technology that can convert perspiration into a flavoring! Now, we’re always looking out for new ways to spice up our tofu, so we decided we’d see about mixing up a little George Clooney–flavored tofu—”CloFu”—for supper. We wrote to Clooney to see if he finds this idea as amusing as I do.

How does this work? Well, it involves gas chromatography and mass spectrometry, but here’s one easy way: Researchers have used a panel of trained individuals with sensitive noses to pinpoint unique components in any individual’s odor. Once the odors have been identified, the right combination of flavors can be synthetically replicated, infused in bean curd, and voilà! CloFu.

Some people don’t try tofu because they expect it to taste bland, but we know it can absorb any taste—so CloFu could make your taste buds and your heart melt. Of course, what’s even better is that after everyone gets a piece of George and realizes how delicious tofu truly is, diets will be revolutionized.

Written by Liz Graffeo

Commenting is closed.
  • Ashley says:

    Im not personally into synthetic flavors…not only do I care about animals..I care about the environment. Chemicals are just as bad as cowproduced methane if not worse. I guess sometimes thats where one gets stuck…kill animals or avoid polluting the earth with nonbiodegradable synthetic crap like plastic.

  • Yamilette Espinosa says:

    I just finished watching two videos of how these sick bastards with no emotions tortured pigs their babies and Raccons to create hot dogs beef and coats. I have to say that after you watch these type of videos and you have a soul you simply refuse to eat meat ever again. I have been a meat eater for a very long time because I come from a Latino home and a huge food is meat. I swear and I vow tht from this day on I will ry my mightest to stop eating any type of meat not even veggie burgers nothing that can remind me of the horrible things I just saw a few minutes ago. I just had the urge to let someone know. How would these carless sons of bitches like it if we skinned them alive hung them alive kicked them while they had their legs cut ofd and made them walk after words. How would they feel if we banged their new born’s head on the floor one time over which doesn’t neccessarly kill them but does keep them a bit awake enough to feel pain. How would they like it if we took our frustraitions out on them because were too imature and give up on ourselves to take on the world. Then after all of that laugh infront of their dead corpse and brag about we just did? How would you feel! Fucking peices of shit leave the animals alone you fucking worthless asswholes! I hope you go to hell for killing Gods creatures. Because if you think that killing an animal isn’t the same as killing a human being your fucking wrong! Just like us they were created out of love from God for us to enjoy. ALIVE!

  • Felicity Brach says:

    Absurd to waste time writing about such rubbish. How about asking George how he feels about “animal rights instead?

  • Amber Falobas says:

    here in Kansas City 101 the Fox on the radio has been talking and laughing about this all day.

  • Rev. Meg Schramm says:

    Great idea!! Maybe PETA could hire MaryMargaret to promote this product…

  • lynda downie says:

    Remember Alex Baldwin’s bit on SNL about Schweaty Balls? Gotta hand it to ya Ingrid. Creative way to get meat eaters to think about how they too are ingesting all that blood sweat and tears along with their steaks and chicken wings.

  • Pepsi One is Fun says:

    Yeah I liked George Clooney in Ocean’s Elevent and maybe its because I have a y gene in me but in no way do I want sweat flavoring any food I eat let alone George Clooney’s.

  • simran says:

    Ewww. But GC freaks might like it.

  • Emmie says:

    Yea…I don’t think I’ll be eating that anytime soon….

  • Brad says:

    Haha. Umm i’m not sure about this one. I think i’ll stick with barbeque sauce.

  • Canaduck says:

    Hahah ew what???

  • meagan says:

    ewwwwww. tofu a la clooney