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Satan vs. Seitan: May the Better Man Win!

Written by PETA | July 29, 2015

UPDATE: When, amid protests, the Satanic Temple in Detroit unveiled a 9-foot-tall goat-headed statue in what was being billed as “the largest public satanic ceremony in history” on Saturday,  it reminded us that Jesus can be found anywhere—even in seitan.

Originally posted on May 20, 2010:

As a seitan worshiper (not literally, but the stuff is pretty good!), I got a kick out of a recent letter that found its way into PETA’s inbox. A PETA supporter (who wishes to remain anonymous) was preparing to barbecue some seitan—also known as “wheat meat”—when an image of Jesus Christ on the cross appeared in the gluten. Here’s the photo we were sent:

“Praise Seitan!”

It makes me wonder, WWJD if He knew that billions of animals live miserable lives and die violent, bloody deaths to sate our addiction to the taste of their flesh? Considering that His message is one of love, kindness, and mercy for all of God’s creatures, I think that Jesus would say to hell with meat.

Right now, I’m going to practice the compassion that Jesus preached and grab some vegan eats …

OMG, there’s an image of SpongeBob SquarePants in my block of tofu!

Commenting is closed.
  • RPGypsy says:

    I’ve been a Vegetarian for 9 years. Love my wheat meat. Been making my own for about 6 months now. I can’t quite sign onto PETA as I am also going blind. And I have a guide dog. And PETA doesn’t like that very much. Too bad. Blindfold up and see how life goes for you PETA. And all of the ridiculous things you’ve written about guide dogs all of things you’ve accused guide dog handlers of all not true.

  • nadjadee says:

    I always ask my self “WWSJD?” What would Seitan Jesus Do?

  • lane says:

    God told Noah to save the animals!! no holy person harms another being. “thou shalt not KILL”! what part of KILL do people NOT understand! this time is short and mans extravagant taste for everything that lives and breaths comes only from the EVIL one! to leave this earth having lived in humility with all creation lifts us to heaven where there is no more of this suffering where all souls of ALL BEINGS that are meek as JESUS live for eternity. who destroys and HARDENS HEARTS!

  • Fred W. Scutzsmack says:

    As a Christian I was quite concerned and amused. o o

  • Annette says:

    How do you humanely slaughter a living being? If sentient beings are treated humanely then surely they have gazed into the eyes of their guardians with love and trust. How do you take that and perform humane slaughter? You don’t. But hey maybe the rhetoric makes sense if one has to excuse their own selfish taste for flesh. Think and envision the act you are justifying.

  • Simone says:

    haha thats so funny 3 it! But its true Jesus would not support the way animals are treated!

  • JoJo Henk says:

    I love you all for posting this. This is too cute to be true!!

  • Rebecca Moyano says:

    Trish and Jean I probably made too narrow a comment about who in particular thinks the seitan jokes are funny I’m sorry if I offended anyone. Plus I myself tend to be one of those people who takes everything literally and has trouble understanding jokes! But my main point is that there are just not as many people like you who are religious and support Petathere are many more potential supporters for whom those jokes are too extreme and they get scared off. I know these peopleI grew up with them and attended church with them. I just wanted to point out that Peta caters mostly to a certain crowd with it’s PRand it might be better to be more expansive in the people it tries to reach. Jean good pointno one should have respect for “seitan”lol

  • Lauren says:

    I agree with Bonnie. I feel like there’s nothing wrong with being a meateater as long as you eat meat that has been humanely prepared. Who in their right mind would want to eat a hamburger that was made from a cruely tortured and brutally slaughtered cow? Eww…

  • sanjuro says:

    I’m an atheist personally but what I find puzzling about Christians and meat consumption is that gluttony is a MORTAL SIN. By definition all those people who feast on meat who get fat from eating too much and there seems to be maaany in US are big time sinners mocking the word of God. I’d suggest they quit or eat less meat during their earthly stay because redemption in the afterlife is bound to be a long painful journey!

  • Kenady says:

    TO Bonnie UM woah pal chill animals are not owned by humans and “god” did not put animals here for humans! THATS SO SELFISH and distgusting to say SHAME ON YOU! People are so damn selfsih its fucing ridicules

  • Jill says:

    I am sitting here reading pro peta CHRISTIANS and for that I an so grateful. I just cant’ help from my own experience to believe that Christians ARE Satan in sheeps clothing The way they flaunt their furs at church! gather their friends to hunt and fish wear leather and tell me REPEATEDLY “I don’t care about animals” eat meat raised on factory farms buy frozen turkeys instead of TOFURKEYS to feed the hungry…and so to listen to Christians speak on BEHALF of animals…well. that just make me very happy…and hopeful. Please pass the word on to others in your church. Christ did not mean ‘just humans’ when he spoke of NOT killing. There is much evidence Christ was a vegetarian. Thank you!

  • AAG says:

    Rebeccagood point! Catholic Concern for Animals Google this and see how Catholics are helping animals. Itoo am a PETA member and sometimes they do get ridiculous with Catholics that have faith.

  • Clifford H. Colpitts, Jr says:

    Wonderful photo. It seems to me that sometimes what is hidden is sometimes out in the open. As Jesus Christ went into Jerusalem he was riding someone. Don’t you think that they were the best of friends. Don’t you think that the lovely story is also for our others who are almost never mentioned on the pulpit?

  • Jean Cameron says:

    Rebecca Moyano. I applaud you for your strong Christian beliefs and the morality that led you to support animal rights Peta etc. However I too am deeply religious and see nothing sacrilegious or disrespectful in poking fun at “satan”. Since when does “satan” or any concept of evil deserve our respect? Humor is actually a good way to devalue it. By the way I think Jesus and all the other great spiritual leaders probably had a great senseofhumor.

  • Trish says:

    Rebecca Moyano You said “the only people who laugh at jokes like the ‘church of seitan’ are antichristian or do not take their faith seriously.” You are wrong. I am a Christian and I DO take my faith seriously. Who are you as a catholic to judge the depth of someone else’s faith? Just because I can find the humor in the “Praise Seitan!” types of jokes? My faith is strong and firm and unwavering. And seitan is delicious…

  • Toby says:

    This would be funny if people didn’t really believe Jesus showed up like that… some poor person is bound to take this seriously!

  • Rebecca Moyano says:

    I am a catholic and a Peta member. I’m sorry guys I know you think that your “seitan” pun is cleverbut the truth is that it’s just not funny. There’s a reason why many christians who care about animals stay away from Peta. I am able to see past these reasons because I believe in supporting an organization that reveals truth and helps so much. But when you make advertisements and jokes that are pushing the envelope in terms of respect for religion and morality you push away a large amount of potential supporters. No matter how valid a point you are making the only people who laugh at jokes like the “church of seitan” are antichristian or do not take their faith seriously. There far more conservative religious people in the US than liberal nonreligiousyou should consider reaching out to the huge support that you could be getting or at least not pushing it away. We could do far more united liberals democrats christians buddists muslims all.

  • christopher twaddle says:

    Seventh Dat Adventist Christians believe that meat is murder……as to aLL CHRISTIANS SHOULD BELIEVE THE SAME. most adventist are vegan. in heaven there will be no more predators….lion will feast wih the lamb persay…

  • Shian says:

    what exactly is wheat meat? and where do i get it? i love tofu is that similar in taste?

  • bunny says:

    im watching earthlings for the first time on youtube OO highly horrifing i suggest if you havent seen it you go to youtube right now! i hate how most people just dont want to know

  • Sharon says:

    I like this. Confused me and then later made me laugh at when I figured it out. I love you guys.

  • Saucy says:

    You got that right! I love Jesus and I love Seitan. The new Seitan Marsala dish at Blossom makes my mouth water just thinking about it. How far would I travel for the un chicken buffalo nuggets at Kates Joint. What wouldn’t I do for the fakin steak sandwich at Life. Move over meateaters and make way for THE GREAT SEITAN and tofu too.

  • Jenny Coppinger says:

    Hallelujah! I love it.

  • Ahimsa says:

    I tell ask my Christian parents the same question…WWJD?

  • Jem says:

    That’s actually pretty creepy to be honest.

  • Bonnie says:

    I know that most people here are not going to agree with this opinion but I do think that Jesus would say it’s OK to eat meat. Animals were put on this earth for us to enjoy but not for us to abuse. There are ways to raise and kill slaughter animals that is humane. I do think that it is possible to be a loving meat eater. I only buy meat that is certified humane and I only eat at restaurants that purchase certified humane meat. If you’re interested to know about the certified humane organization here’s the link I would love to know how PETA felt about that organization.

  • Shanon says:

    I think Jesus needs to come back again to remind all the meat eaters what he meant by “thou shalt not kill and “do unto others as you would have done until you”! I’m praying for it!