Dear Brett Favre: Please Retire From Hunting. Love, PETA.
Retired/unretired/whatever NFL quarterback Brett Favre isn’t just killing his team with big-game interceptions anymore! Now he’s moved on to killing animals for fun in a pathetic attempt at a locker room “prank.” According to the New York Times, Favre, who is “notorious for shenanigans involving lockers,” is reported to have “shot (presumably), bagged and dumped” a dead animal, probably a wild turkey, in a teammate’s locker “inside a bag that was filled with blood and guts.”
Blood? Guts? HILARIOUS! What do you think he follows this one up with—the old “kitten in the microwave” gag? That one’s a real knee-slapper too. I hate to be the one to tell you this, Brett, but people who think dead animals are funny don’t typically end up in the Hall Of Fame—sometimes, they end up in custody.
There is, of course, nothing even remotely “sporting” about hunting. Imagine a game of football in which one team has pads, cleats, helmets, set plays, offensive and defensive coordinators—the whole nine yards (zing!), and meanwhile the other team is running around naked and unprepared (no, no, not the Lions). That’s about as “competitive” as hunting deer with high-tech camouflage and a sniper rifle.
Some people call guys like Favre who use military-grade weaponry to kill defenseless animals “sportsmen.” You know what I call them?
Written by Dan Shannon