The Cure for Manny Ramirez’s ‘Impotence’

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2 min read

 

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Manny Ramirez

When my beloved Boston Red Sox famously traded Nomar Garciaparra to the Chicago Cubs back in ’04, I knew that it was for the best. But when Manny Ramirez was traded to the Los Angeles Dodgers just one short year ago, I had the opposite reaction. I knew Manny was trouble. I knew he was dragging the team down. But deep down, I was sorry to see him go.

Now that Manny has been hit with a 50-game suspension for failing a drug test—allegedly because of an impotence treatment to counteract the, um, negative side effects of steroid use—Boston fans can rest a bit more easily knowing that the Red Sox made the right move shipping him off to L.A. last summer (Jason Bay slugging .667 through 32 games doesn’t hurt, either). But we here at PETA are left wondering: Why would Manny turn to pharmaceutical “performance enhancers” when the best way to combat impotence is a healthy vegetarian diet?

Most people these days understand that the saturated fat and cholesterol in meat, dairy, and eggs clogs the arteries to your heart, leading to an increased risk of heart disease. But eating meat actually impedes the blood flow to all your organs—including the one that comes with a Y chromosome. And the best way to be sure that organ will continue to come through for you is to go vegetarian.

With that in mind, PETA is urging Manny to consider switching to a vegetarian diet so that he can continue to come through in the clutch without failing any more drug tests. You can read our letter here, and you can learn more about the performance-enhancing benefits of a vegetarian diet here.

Written by Dan Shannon

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