Written by PETA
Yesterday we wrote to Whitefish High School and suggested that it change its name to Sea Kitten High in order to let people know that sea kittens are just as deserving of love as their land-dwelling counterparts. We were so excited to hear back from Jerry House, the Whitefish schools Superintendent. Superintendent House announced that he thinks the change would be a great idea, not just for the high school, but for the whole city!
House suggested that instead of "Sea Kitten," it might be more appropriate to call the city "White Kitten," given Montana's lack of proximity to the ocean. "White Kitten High School, the White Kitten City Council, the White Kitten Fire Department—it has a certain ring to it, don't you think?" We really do think so, Superintendent House, and we love that you can see our point so clearly.
And if you break the law, House warns, "[Y]ou'll be arrested by the White Kitten Police Department, and taken to the White Kitten Jail, where you'll be treated with soft, furry paws and a purr of compassion." Aww … I'm totally moving to Montana.
He even suggested that the new name would bring new business to the town—perhaps the National Federation of Sea Kittens, instead of the outdated National Federation of Fly-Fishers that they're used to? House looks forward to it: "The fur will be flying, and they'll have scratching post exhibits." They'd better get started on that name change, because it looks like they've got some prep work ahead of them. As our new favorite superintendent said, "[W]e're going to have to bring in lots and lots of litter boxes."
Written by Lianne Turner
It's no secret that sea kittens stay in their schools far longer than humans do. That's why it struck us as odd that Whitefish High School in Montana has failed to stay up to date with the Sea Kitten Revolution. So we wrote to them, tongue-in-cheek (which is better than hook-through-lip), to ask them to consider changing their name to something a tad more sea kitten–friendly. We can see it now: Sea Kitten High School! The coolest school in the whole country.
In his letter, our Dan Shannon included lots of reasons why sea kitten hunting hurts. "We're hoping that this name change will encourage people young and old to start treating these gentle 'kittens of the sea' with respect—and show them the kindness that they deserve."
Because we know that sea kittens are smart, we thought of a few courses that they might like to take at Sea Kitten High—besides marine biology. For instance, some sea kittens are avid gardeners. They'd love a botany class in which they could learn about cultivating their algae patches! And why not give them a choir class to exercise their vocal talents? Some sea kittens sing to their romantic interests.
Any ideas for a sea kitten curriculum?
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