Deflocked, baby. Deflocked.

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I should warn you in advance that the only real payoff here for you is that warm, fuzzy feeling one experiences after having done something altruistic to make the world a better place. I’ve never particularly enjoyed that feeling myself (compared with, say, the more satisfying warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you buy something nice for yourself), but it’s probably a good deal better than nothing. Here’s how this thing works, according to Yahoo!, which is running the program. It’s actually pretty neat:

It all sounds pretty straightforward: If you have an inspirational story related to someone’s good deeds on behalf of PETA and animals, just use the shockingly user-friendly interface they have over at Bix to record that story, submit it by December 19, and wait to hear if you’re one of the finalists. If you are, PETA may get up to 50,000 bucks for our campaigns to help animals, and you may get that warm, fuzzy feeling I was talking about earlier. It’s win-win. You can learn more about the program here.

We’re busy, busy little worker bees in PETA’s Marketing Department, and nobody is busier than everybody’s second favorite PETA blogger, Amy “I think I’m so smart cuz I can make vegan cupcakes” Cook, who, in addition to running the Veg Cooking blog, coordinates most of the vegetarian-focused content that goes up on PETA’s websites. Well, in her unquenchable enthusiasm for the Holiday Season, our Amy coordinated so much Christmas content that we’re having trouble keeping up with it, which is a shame, because it really is very good. So the point is, even though she runs a rival PETA blog and is thus my evil arch-nemesis, I do want to highlight some of the exciting stuff she’s been working on for the Holidays. Check it all out, and be sure to congratulate her on the great work.

1. PETA has teamed up with Cherrybrook Kitchen, for a mouthwatering giveaway featuring mixes for vegan chocolate chip and sugar cookies, yellow cakes, pancakes and brownies. If you have a sweet tooth, you can check that bad boy out here:
2. I told my mom that if she forgets to load up on tofurkey this year while I’m home for Christmas, she can forget about getting any gifts from me. There are, however, more polite ways of accomplishing these goals, and PETA’s Ask Your Family for a Vegan Christmas feature can help you out with that.
3. You may also want to check out these tips and tricks to make vegan holiday baking easy.
4. And if baking’s not your thing, there are about a million other vegan holiday-specific foods you can prepare, so have a look at those here.

Amy has managed to exhaust her lifetime quota of favors from me by also asking me to talk about the variety of Christmas recipes she’s going to be posting on her blog in the next week, so be sure to check those out too. I hate to say it, but her first Christmas-themed entry does actually look pretty delicious. Feel free to scan her blog for a little while, but don’t forget to come back here, otherwise I shall be hurt and sulky. Enjoy!

Update: We’ve just received word that the ominous-sounding “NIH Office of Research Integrity” is investigating this situation right now. I’ll let you know as soon as we hear the results of that inquiry. And the story was run in USA Today yesterday. You can read that article here.

OK, so there’s a horrifying part to this story, and there’s a part that’s just so mind-bogglingly stupid that it’ll make you cry. We’ll start with the horrifying part: A branch of the NIH is using chimpanzees as incubators to produce antibodies for anthrax, smallpox, and other pathogens in the event of a bioterror attack. For the animals used in these experiments, this means (among other things) excruciatingly painful bone marrow extractions and, apparently, complete isolation for as long as 20 years.

Now, here’s the dumb part: We already have treatments for those pathogens. Like, there are already antibody-based drugs for those pathogens pending approval by the FDA. Two companies have been contracted to provide antibody-based anthrax and smallpox drugs to the Strategic National Stockpile, and at least three other companies have antibody-based anthrax drugs in clinical trials. None of these drugs uses antibodies derived from chimpanzees (which means, incidentally, that the NIH could be violating the Animal Welfare Act, since non-animal therapies already exist).

What this all adds up to is that the NIH’s experiments are a) cruel, b) redundant, c) an unbelievable waste of resources that ought to be devoted to preparing for bioterror attacks. Which is not something you should be screwing around with, IMHO.

PETA President Ingrid Newkirk wrote to Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff this morning to point that out. You can read her letter here.

So, for several years now, we’ve been running ads, making stickers, and selling T-shirts parodying the well-known “Got Milk?” campaign, with some slightly less flattering slogans that draw attention to the fact that every glass of milk has a little bit of pus in it. We even had a full-fledged campaign for a while called “Got Beer?” which pointed out that beer is actually better for you than milk is, and encouraged people 21 and up to reach for a tasty pint of ale with a hint of hops instead of a glass of cow juice with extra pus. (This campaign was a big hit with college students—not quite so popular with the temperance groups though.)

Anyway, a few days ago we got this nasty letter from a law firm representing the California Milk Processors Board, accusing us of infringing on their trademark with our campaign. Apparently some functionary over at the California Milk Processors Board got his panties all in a bunch about our “Got Pus? Milk Does!” slogan and called in the suits. I’m guessing he was either still bitter over that time when we sued the California dairy industry over the blatant lies inherent in their “Good Milk Comes From Happy Cows” ads, or else feeling a bit ill after reading our site about what goes into milk.

Anyway, it’s pretty clear that they don’t have a leg to stand on, and I’m looking forward to their response once they get the smackdown from PETA’s lawyers. The good news is that this provides us with one more opportunity to talk about just how desperate the dairy industry is to hide the truth about the hideous cruelty, the unhealthy junk, and the vile substances that go into every glass of milk. Better luck next time, guys.

You can read the milk board’s letter to us here.

And you can read the response from our lawyers here.

I think I may have mentioned before how unhappy it makes me when brain-dead celebrities buy puppies from pet stores and drag them around until they get tired of them. Well, following an investigation which indicated that Britney’s favorite Hollywood hellhole, Pets of Bel Air, may have been getting its animals from puppy mills and operating without a license, the place was shut down yesterday! I have to say, I don’t have the highest of hopes that ol’ Brit is going to be able to figure out the ethical implications of this little piece of news all by herself, but it sure as hell sends a great message to anyone who’s considering buying an animal from a pet store instead of adopting. Check out the full story here.

Mac Danzig, for those of you unfamiliar with his work, is a Mixed Martial Arts King of the Cage Champion, and—as of two days ago—the winner of Spike TV’s Ultimate Fighter 6. I’m not going to go into too much detail about what these things mean, as the key point here should be evident from the titles themselves. The dude is a serious badass.

He also happens to be an outspoken animal rights activist, who speaks up about the health benefits and the ethics of a vegan diet at pretty much every opportunity he gets. Mac’s Spike TV victory means that he’s going to be debuting on the big stage—the Ultimate Fighting Championship—next month, and all of our best wishes go with him. Here’s an interview Mac Danzig did with those trendsetting scene-hoppers over at peta2 last year, and the following is a highlight reel of Mac’s fights that should give you an idea of what happens to dudes who get in the ring with a vegan.

Congratulations, Mac—we’re looking forward to seeing more of you in the future.

The Trollsen Twins Campaign I was talking about earlier today was debuted in LA this afternoon with a demonstration unveiling peta2's "Fur Is for Beautiful Animals and Ugly People" ad, starring none other than the Olsens themselves. Here are some pics:

We’ve been working on this bad boy for a long time now, and thanks to the genius of our Flash designers, I think it’s fair to say that this is the best e-card we’ve ever done. OK, fine, last year’s was pretty damn good too. Anyway, check it out and tell me what you think.

After years of trying to persuade Mary Kate and Ashley to stop flouncing around in dead animals, those impish provocateurs over at peta2 have launched a full-fledged campaign to shame the twins into ditching the fur coats and giving up their thoughtless (and persistent) promotion of the fur industry. As damaging as this campaign may be to the Olsens’ reputation, it wasn’t without its share of blood, sweat, and tears for us—as your self-sacrificing PETA blogger had to watch about 40 cumulative hours of Full House to pull this video together (I still wake up in the middle of the night humming that profoundly disturbing theme song). If you have a few minutes to spare, you should definitely check out the brand-new Trollsen Twins site,* which also features a dress-up game and an online store, then write to the Olsens here to tell them to just stop it already. But first check out Full House of Horrors. It might just change your life.

*This site didn’t just make itself—a huge thank you is due to Karen Nilsen (who designed the whole thing), Elizabeth O’Mara (who pulled it all together), and Jamie Linder (who, in the course of filming and editing the video, had to see me naked—for which I apologize from the very bottom of my heart).