Beachgoers in Fort Myers and Pensacola today got the envious privilege of being able to see planes hired by PETA flying up and down the shoreline towing signs reading "8 REASONS TO BOYCOTT KFC," and featuring a demonic, blood-soaked "Colonel Sanders" in the act of stabbing a chicken. So without further ado:

1. Being top-heavy is only cool for women
2. They do chickens wrong
3. Sometimes big bright packages contain dirty little secrets
4. Being scalded to death sucks
5. If Pam’s doing it, I want to do it too
6. Cheap food costs animals dearly
7. Those wings were broken when the chicken was still alive
8. The “secret recipe” involves de-beaking with a hot wire

I never got to see anything that fun when I lived in Pensacola, though there were a lot of orange people....

Posted by Sarah King

nytimes / CC

Let me recap for the irony-impaired: People who came to look at animals stuck in cages ended up stuck cages themselves.

For perhaps the first time since their capture (or births in captivity), the residents of the pens below the tram tracks had reason to feel grateful for their enclosures' sizes—they at least had walking room (albeit it nothing like freedom), while the human animals were confined to 4-by-5-foot boxes. On the other hand, the human animals had liberty and exercise of free will to look forward to, which was not the case for the Bronx Zoo's permanent "residents."

Some stranded patrons saw the connection, according to The New York Times, which ran the story.

One such visitor walked away with a better understanding of how the animals must feel: "You have no say in what happens to you. You lose all control," she told the Times. Another man said, "It's a good lesson to humanity. They're now afraid, they're now vulnerable. Humanity needs to learn humility. They're not masters of the universe. They're part of the natural world."

What bizarre role reversal will come next? Will meat kill people? Oh, wait ....

Posted by Sean Conner

newsx / CC

Let's face it, China may be on top of its game in terms of technological innovations, but when it comes to animal protection, the country is dead last at the bottom of the dog pile.

China severely lacks any form of animal welfare. Our investigations into Chinese fur farms and live markets have shown some of the most horrendous acts of cruelty and conditions for animals raised for human use.

We're pleased that Beijing has opted out of the dog-slaughtering business—at least for a few weeks and if only for Olympic restaurants. But I have a suspicion it's not because someone up top realized that dogs feel pain.

A better idea would be to ban all meat from the restaurants. Cows, chickens, pigs, and fish value their lives and don't want to suffer, and they certainly die as wretchedly as dogs do, even if most people never get to know one in the way that they get to know a dog. Kind of a double standard, don't you think?

Besides, the Olympic athletes certainly don't need all the fat and cholesterol loaded in each bite of meat. It would suck to be one lap away from winning gold and suffer a heart attack. Take a bit of advice from Carl Lewis, a legendary Olympian, a vegetarian, and the man who's broken more records than humanly possible.

The only real breakfast of champions is one that's meat-free. And you can take that to the winner's podium.

Posted by Jennifer Cierlitsky

We could have called this "Reason #782 to Go Vegetarian," but you probably wouldn't have clicked on that. And no, we're not just flashing the sex card to try to get your attention (OK, we were), but this is dead serious—as dead, apparently, as the sperm of obese men.

Here's the scoop: Earlier this week, an article about researchers at the University of Aberdeen in the U.K. reported that "obese men have worse sperm than normal-weight men." The researchers analyzed sperm samples from more than 5,000 men and found that, in the words of the news article, "[f]at men had a 60 percent higher chance of having a low volume of semen" and "a 40 percent higher chance of having some sperm abnormalities."

Monty Python told us that every sperm is sacred, but apparently, some sperm is abnormally sacred. Who knew?

So what does this have to do with dietary choices? Well, loyal readers of The PETA Files will recall that vegetarians are slimmer than nonvegetarians, weighing on average 20 to 30 percent less than their meat-eating counterparts. In other words, meat-eaters tend to be heavier than vegetarians, are more likely to be obese, and are more likely to have inferior sperm. Add to this the fact that the saturated fat and cholesterol that clog the arteries of meat-eaters clog arteries leading to all the organs (including what Steve Martin called that "special purpose" one), and it's no wonder that this lovely lady hates men's guts:

And that this lovely woman seems, well, like she's particularly fond of her vegetables!

My people do me proud! A recent article in the National Catholic Worker praises the social and environmental benefits of being vegetarian. Granted, I'm not a Catholic per se, but as a Christian, the Catholic Workers are my favorite siblings. They work for—not just talk about—human rights, in the States and abroad, by putting their feet (and, in this case, their forks) where their faith is. They're also not afraid to take on issues that catch them some heat.

The article goes on to say that the "only diet for a peacemaker is a vegetarian diet," which is what we've been saying for years! I love that the Catholic Workers are owning up to this fact, too, and am hoping that Christians all over will be inspired by this. At PETA, we've got our own Blessed Are the Merciful video, which you can view here.

Of course, almost every religion has its own message of peace that, if you look closely, includes animals. But this article really struck a chord! I always found it a bit insincere that people were comfortable following a faith that preaches love and understanding yet don't blink when it comes to eating those who need exactly that.

I'd love to hear about how you all relate religion and vegetarianism, too, so comment and let me know.

bp3 / CC

Beyond her heavy-caliber lack of compassion for not realizing that mice can be controlled humanely (like, without the use of firearms in a small enclosed space), this woman gets extra points for managing to shoot two people by accident. Her domestic hunting expedition was cut short when she dropped the Magnum, causing it to fire. The bullet struck her in the kneecap (pwnd!) and went on to graze a nearby man's groin (dbl pwnd!) before ending up in his pocket. Hard to know what to say, really!

I love Fox news, my preferred news source for all things weird, for closing the story by reassuring everyone that "[t]he mice escaped the shooting unharmed."

If you run into this woman on the street, let her know we’ll be happy to send her a humane mousetrap to help her make a better decision next time, just in case her self-inflicted knee-capping wasn’t enough.

Pamela Anderson Visits a KFC in Australia

The walking fantasy with a heart of gold is in Australia for the filming of the reality show Big Brother. Earlier today, Pam hand-delivered a copy of her letter to Albert Baladi, managing director of KFC's parent company in Australia, to speechless-but-drooling staff at a local KFC. She also gave the manager a copy of her explicit video—no, not that video…the other startling exposé (narrated by Pam), which reveals that KFC suppliers scald chickens to death in defeathering tanks and use other outdated and cruel gathering and slaughter methods.

In her letter, Pam writes:

Pam urges Baladi to adopt the same animal welfare standards now applied to chickens killed for KFCs in Canada, which are a result of PETA's campaign and will substantially improve the living and dying conditions of chickens.

And a little eye candy for your day: pictures of Pam in action!

The Scene In Gold Coast

Posted by Grace Friedan

OK, I don't want to brag, but ... ah, heck! If spaying and neutering were an Olympic event (if synchronizing swimming got in, why not?), our SNIP staff would be at the podium holding their gold medals! Move over, Morgan Hamm—you may know a thing or two about the pommel horse, but could you prevent the births of thousands of unwanted cats? We didn't think so.

Yesterday, PETA's SNIPmobile hit a grand slam for homeless cats—completing an outstanding 30 spays/neuters done completely free of charge! These little kings of the urban jungle had the entire day devoted just to their well-being and happiness. And you know what, they were feral—all of 'em.

The SNIPmobile

We did the free sterilizations, although we don't believe most feral cats should be out there at all—in danger, unsocialized, and fearful of humans—because ferals often have to be the James Bonds of the kitty world just to duck and dive past the slew of dangers present in their environment.

Ferals are at risk of being picked up by bunchers for use in disgusting laboratory experiments—in addition to facing the risks posed by cars, extreme weather, diseases such as feline AIDS and feline leukemia, and other animals. And if that's not enough mud to trek through, there's the food situation. Keep multiplying the overwhelming number of ferals born in a colony each year, consider the amount of food available, do the math, and, well ... you get the picture. We did it, however, because cats are better off out there not reproducing than out there having kitties under the pilings.

Until we can do what Switzerland did and make it mandatory for people who want a cat or dog to pass a responsibility test, preventing future litters of kittens—and we're talkin' all kittens here, not just ferals—spaying and neutering is the key way to gain control of the overpopulation nightmare in this country and better protect these animals from harm.

Feral cats certainly don't live the life of champions. But thanks to the compassionate souls working countless hours on our mobile clinic and the people who looked out for them and took them back and forth, these ferals have a few less worries on their plate.

blacksportsonline / CC

Wonder how Gonzalez has such a knack for saving lives? Well, the 247 lb., 6'5", nine-time Pro Bowl selection eats a diet rich with foods that also spare the animals’ lives—to stay strong he adheres to a mostly vegan diet! How ironic that out of a restaurant full of animal eaters, it was Gonzalez who stepped in and did the "save," huh? If anyone knows where Mr. Hunter is, let's send him a "Vegetarian Starter Kit" so he can learn about some other foods that are less likely to kill him.