An early version of the “Meet Jack” picture for the PETA Files had more of a “getting things done!” feel to it. In the end, we decided to go with “simpering idiot” instead.

For everyone else, I wanted to take a very few minutes of your time to say thanks for sticking around during the last year or so. It’s been a fantastic experience being a writer for the PETA Files, and I’m very much looking forward to settling into being a reader. In fact, I have every intention of leaving longwinded, self-important comments on every post until Christine (who, bless her heart, has taken over moderating duties) politely begs me to stop.

While I still have a soapbox, I figured this would be a good time for a quick retrospective in the form of my Top 5 moments working at this amazing organization, so here goes:

Since coming to PETA four years ago, I have:

• Performed search-and-rescue operations for abandoned animals in post-Katrina New Orleans.
• Stood, naked, painted like a Union Jack, in front of the British embassy in DC to protest the Queen’s Guards’ bearskin hats.
• Toured the country with The Alkaline Trio on behalf of peta2.
• Starred in a special “episode” of Full House that was featured on The O’Reilly Factor.
• Written (roughly) 1,200 entries and approved more than 30,000 comments for this blog. Thank you to everyone who’s been a part of that.

The good news is that this is the last week that any of us will have to put up with that nauseatingly smug version of me quite clearly sleeping on the job up in this blog’s banner. Word on the street is that (fittingly enough) I am being replaced by a chicken.

And I’ll leave you with that thought. See you in the comments!

-Jack

In March, a video surfaced on online showing a smiling Marine throwing a live puppy off a cliff while another Marine laughs. People everywhere were outraged, PETA was immediately flooded with calls and e-mails from people who wanted to know how they could help get justice for the puppy.

PETA's Emergency Response Division immediately contacted the Commanding Officer at Marine Corps Base Hawaii urging strong action on this case. In addition, we launched an online action alert, which allowed tens of thousands of outraged people to share their feelings with Marine Corps officials and ask for court-martials and severe penalties for those involved.

Today, we received the long-awaited results of the Marine Corps' investigation. According to news sources, the soldier shown tossing the puppy has been expelled, and another Marine in the video apparently faces disciplinary action. A big, big thanks to everyone who took action and let the Marine Corps know that cruelty to animals is never acceptable—no matter who the abuser is.

PETA Vice President Daphna Nachminovitch has these strong words on this matter:

And here are my words:

- Joel Bartlett

If you've idly tossed around the idea of expatriation, this news item will surely send you packing—and practicing your Italian. We've received news that the independent state of San Marino, located entirely within Northeastern Italy, has formally abolished all animal experimentation within its borders. The bill, supported by citizens' signatures and a local animal protection group, was presented in February of this year and has now been signed into law.

Although San Marino is a small state, this is a historic event: San Marino is the very first nation to make all animal testing illegal. Clearly, people (in San Marino and elsewhere) want more sophisticated non-animal methods to be used and find that vivisection is generally abhorrent. In addition to being compassionate for passing this most progressive law, San Marino doesn't have to worry about having an animal-torturing preclinical racket come to town and wreck its local water supply or snatch up its citizens' loved ones.

On behalf of the cats, dogs, guinea pigs, hamsters, monkeys, chimpanzees, pigs, rabbits, sheep, rats, mice, birds, fish, and all other species that are commonly used for research, thank you, San Marino!

-Sean

Posted by Sean Conner

‘Cuz why not? Here they are – the top 10 films that’ll inspire you to go vegetarian. Let us know which ones you like best, or feel free to add to the list in the comments.

• Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2008). See the KFC-esque "American Chicken Bunker" get skewered in this film about chickens who return from the grave to seek revenge against their killers. Throw in a few lesbian protesters, musical numbers about Native American burial grounds, and fry-o-lators, and you've got yourself a vegetarian-manifesto masterpiece.
• Soylent Green (1973). Overpopulation and environmental devastation have led to a world where food is scarce and prices have sky-rocketed (sound familiar?), and the only way to survive is by eating a mysterious food called "Soylent Green." But the real food for thought is when Chuck Heston discovers that "Soylent Green is people!" (Please, pass the veggies!)
• Babe (1995). This film has turned legions of people into vegetarians—including its star, James Cromwell—because who could "pig out" again after watching that cute little piglet charm Farmer Hogett?
• Delicatessen (1991). As if foie gras weren't disgusting enough, this post-apocalyptic comedy gives new meaning to "French cuisine" when a landlord serves cannibalistic meals to his tenants.
• Fast Food Nation (2006). This film takes a compelling look at the destructive impact that eating meat has on animals, people's health, and the environment. Bruce Willis' "tough talk" scene about the suspect ingredients found in meat—while chomping on a huge burger—is priceless.
• The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974). Leatherface and his family members really know how to throw a dinner party: blood, gore, and all the human flesh that you can eat. Hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons calls The Texas Chainsaw Massacre a "vegetarian" movie. "The way that woman was screaming, 'Aaaahhh,' and she's running away—that's how every animal you eat is running for his or her life," he says.
• Super Size Me (2004). Morgan Spurlock documents the ill effects that his 30-day, McDonald's-only diet has on his body, giving new meaning to the phrase "Big Mac attack."
• Chicken Run (2000). That's right: Laying hens don't "retire"—they get turned into "Mrs. Tweedy's Homemade Chicken Pies." This movie is the best that celluloid (and clay) has to offer in making the case for scrambled tofu.
• Sweeney Todd (2007). This tells the story of a demon barber who conspires with a woman who uses human flesh in her meat pies. The only thing yummy in this blood-splattered spectacle is Johnny Depp.
• I Am an Animal (2007). Showing everything from undercover video footage shot inside a turkey slaughterhouse to a rescued turkey singing along to classical music, this documentary about PETA founder Ingrid E. Newkirk is one of the best cases for a Tofurky Thanksgiving.

As Ingrid Newkirk puts it, "Picking up the remote can become a life-changing act when you watch one of these movies. If animals wrote movie reviews, they'd give these films two paws up."

Two-time-Grammy-nominated songwriter KT Tunstall has just lent her voice to the campaign against KFC, firing off a letter to the managers of every KFC in Scotland encouraging them to pressure the company to stop its suppliers' worst abuses of chickens. You can read the full letter here. For the full experience, I highly recommend that you do it while listening to KT Tunstall’s latest smash hit, “If Only.” I’ve provided a video for you below so you can get the multimedia.

Thanks for taking a stand, KT. We really appreciate it.

-Jack

It's not too often that you hear about a chicken who is the center of attention rather than the center of a dinner plate. That's why I was so psyched to run across this article about Mr. Joy. A therapy chicken who visits assisted-living centers around Charlotte, North Carolina, Mr. Joy totally digs it when people pet and coo over him. And from the sound of it, people totally dig this cock-a-doodle dude too!

Also a patron of the arts and an animal rights activist (I kid you not), Mr. Joy and his adopted mom, Alisha Tomlinson, are on a mission not only to spread cheer but also to spread the message that chickens are smart, interesting animals who don't deserve to be turned into nuggets.

In fact, when he's not working the rest-home circuit or kicking it with his two wives in their spacious coop condo; he can usually be found in the parking lot of a fast-food restaurant. Sticking up for all his fallen peeps who have been abused, butchered, battered, and thrown into buckets, Mr. Joy charms the crowd from the safety of the car while his mom hands out leaflets about factory farming.

Want more Joy? Check out his Web site here. On a more comical note, check out a video showing Mr. Joy getting the beauty-shop treatment below:

-Amy

Posted by Amy Elizabeth

Father's Day is this coming Sunday, and I am absolutely certain that most people reading this are still procrastinating about buying their gift or planning their day. The good people at PETA (read: I) put together this list of some of the best things to do with or for Dad this year, so you really have no excuse to just buy a card or issue a pile of IOUs for mowing the lawn.

10. Get Dad a nonleather belt or wallet. You can find great alternatives at Eddie Bauer, Timberland, Vans, or just about any other retailer or online shopping site imaginable.

9. Clean up Dad's home office or the garage. He's got more important things to do on Father's Day than stand among his clutter and play "find the floor." For advice on what your weapons of choice in this endeavor should be, go through our list of cruelty-free companies.

8. Put together a gift basket full of small treats for Dad. Consider throwing in some homemade or store-bought vegan cookies, meat-free jerky strips, and a new coffee mug (I'm partial to this one) filled with a bag of shade-grown coffee. The best thing about gift baskets is that they're very do-it-yourself, so get creative!

7. Go back to basics and get Dad a nice, silk-free tie: the staple of Father's Day gifts. You can find polyester or other synthetic fibers everywhere, so get Dad an accessory not made from insect cocoons (barf!).

6. Dog lovers can go grab a picnic lunch and a few four-legged friends and head to the dog park. Although any safe spot with a patch of grass, water, and a Frisbee will do, you should check our list of the best dog parks in the country in case you're lucky enough to be within driving distance to any of them.

5. Help Dad fight the battle against scruff with a shaving kit from Jack Black. None of their products is tested on animals, and many are completely free of animal-derived ingredients. They've even put out an amazing shave brush made of synthetic materials for men who aren't fond of rubbing their faces on a big mound of badger hair.

4. Bust out the grill! There are a ton of animal-free grilling options that he'll happily devour. My Dad is crazy about mushrooms, but faux meats such as veggie burgers are a simple, foolproof fallback for the inexperienced chef.

3. If you're intimidated by open flames, propane, or the thought of expending effort, take Dad out to lunch or dinner. You can find vegetarian options at pretty much any chain restaurant. No muss, no fuss, and no second-degree burns.

2. Your dad should love absolutely anything made by Herban Cowboy. I found their all-natural soap at an organic grocer and spent a solid 10 minutes sniffing it through the packaging before employees started to stare. Guys, be sure to buy one for yourself too.

1. Sports fans can head to the ballpark. More and more baseball stadiums (and other venues) are carrying veggie dogs so that you can go enjoy the traditional pastime without all the cholesterol and general nastiness of eating a tube of flesh of unknown origin.

-Sean

Posted by Sean Conner

I love this.

There’s more info on the exotic skins industry here.

Click to see Joel’s OMMA Bio

Joel, whom regular readers will know from his often rather lowbrow but occasionally inspired posts on this very blog, is the brains behind PETA’s online marketing strategy, and—to be fair—OMMA (which stands for Online Media Marketing and Advertising) magazine were right on in recognizing him for his work. Because he really is infuriatingly talented. Here’s what they said:

It takes a few seconds to fill out their webform, but the full OMMA article is definitely worth checking out if you’re interested in marketing, PETA, Joel, or all of the above. In the meantime, since this post is rapidly degenerating into a Joel Bartlett lovefest, I figured I’d just give in and congratulate him myself. He may never be quite as skilled as I am at medicine-themed, 8-bit Nintendo games, but the guy is unbelievably good at what he does, and he deserves the hell out of this recognition. Nice work, JB.

-Jack

Last fall, PETA announced a partnership with Helium.com, a site that promotes the open exchange of ideas—something we're all for.

Now we're taking it to a new level. Announcing—drum roll please—the PETA Citizen Journalism Award! Each month, we'll name a title. All you have to do is write an article based on that title. If we think yours makes the best case, not only will you win a customized award plus a $50 gift certificate that you can use to snag swag from the PETA catalog but we'll also feature your article right here on The PETA Files. That's a pretty big deal, right? (Please say yes—those of us who post here have such fragile egos!)

To give you a head start, this month's title is "Would you eat animal-stem-cell–grown 'clean meat' to protect animals and the environment?" If you don't quite get what that's about, be sure to read about our $1 million challenge first. If you need more information to help you write your article, there's a ton of useful, fascinating stuff on GoVeg.com.

-Jeff Mackey