One Australian farmer could've used our swine flu mask recently, but not for the reason you might think. After smelling what he thought was a gas leak, he called emergency services, and two fire trucks rushed over to his farm. When the fire captain came in, he took one look at the man's pig, and it was immediately apparent that the foul air was a gas problem of a different sort: They were all getting a whiff of the pig's wind.

executedtoday / CC

If a single sow's fetid flatulence is enough to warrant the attention of 15 firefighters, then imagine the gaseous trail left by the 63 million pigs on factory farms. Turns out that going vegan helps reduce more than one type of gaseous emission.

Written by Logan Scherer

Unless you've had your head in the sand for quite some time, you know that "swine flu blues" are sweeping the nation. Just in time for sniffle season, PETA's swine flu prevention masks have arrived.

We are giving you, dear PETA Files reader, a chance to win the perfect accessory for your next pro-vegan demonstration or leafleting junket (or cross-country flight). All you need to do is simply create your own "swine flu haiku," a short, three-line poem, about this pandemic that has worried people all over the world. Here's mine:

Swine flu fears? Not here
Because I am vegan and
Wash my hands a lot

(Remember, the first line in haiku must have five syllables, the second must have seven, and the third one must have five.)

What's that? You can do better? Well, then, prove it. Submit your clever haiku in the comments section below by December 9, 2009. We'll pick 5 winners on December 11, 2009. Be sure to read our privacy policy and terms and conditions, as you're agreeing to both by commenting. Good luck!

Written by Karin Bennett