newslib / CC

As a towheaded tyke in Dallas years ago (how many years ago I'm not saying), I loved nothing more than to visit Six Flags Over Texas. It seemed like an enchanted wonderland of whimsy and harmless thrills ….

Obviously, those days are long gone.

In a sure sign of desperation, Six Flags Inc.—whose stock has been performing so poorly that it's in danger of losing its listing on the New York Stock Exchange—has decided that the way to drum up business is to have park visitors eat bugs. We can only be glad that these financial geniuses weren't responsible for writing the recent bank bailout legislation, right?

Now, you may recall that Six Flags recently announced that it was going to end the horrible cockroach-eating stunts of the past couple of years during its Halloween-themed "Fright Fest." So, to pretend it's being true to its word, it's announced that it still won't use cockroaches this year—instead it'll offer other kinds of bugs to eat, such as "superworms, larvae, caterpillars, cicadas, night crawlers, crickets, and grasshoppers." Boy, that should make for some delightful childhood memories, huh?

When Six Flags originally announced the end of cockroach-eating, its public relations manager, Sue Carpenter, said, "We're on to other Fright Fest events that do not include any living creatures!" So, what's the dealie? Last we checked, crickets, caterpillars, and grasshoppers were living creatures—and not at all eager to be chewed up so some yahoo can have cuts in the rollercoaster line. Plus, it sends a dangerous message to kids that it's okay to harm others to get ahead.

As soon as we got wind of Six Flags' bait-and-switch nonsense, we wrote to its vice president of communications, Sandra Daniels, to express our outrage and offer another chance to do the right thing.

Written by Jeff Mackey

i76 / CC

Six Flags had been planning to include a live Madagascar Hissing Cockroach–eating challenge as part of their Halloween "Fright Fest" festivities.

So we wrote and explained that encouraging teenagers (or anyone!) to hurt and kill even the smallest life form "just for fun" can desensitize them to suffering in general. Besides, all insects, like them or not, play a role in our ecosystem. And there's also the small matter of health risks like allergic reactions, nausea, and gastrointestinal distress—humans, you may realize, are not meant to eat giant hissing cockroaches.

Six Flags agreed! Six Flags public relations manager Sue Carpenter said, "We're on to other Fright Fest events that do not include any living creatures!"

Roller coasters, Halloween, and no harm to animals? Sounds great to me!

We're so glad that Six Flags has decided to pursue only animal-friendly events that we're sending a small token of our appreciation to Ms. Carpenter—a box of vegan chocolate roaches—completely cruelty-free, maybe a little bit scary, and 100 percent delicious.

Written by Amanda Schinke