As soccer fans all over the world are packing up their vuvuzelas, PETA Germany is petitioning for the retirement and release of Paul the prophetic octopus, who correctly chose the winners in eight match-ups, including Spain's win yesterday over the Netherlands. No one deserves to spend an entire life locked in a glass box, but if that's not reason enough to release Paul, here's a short list that should help PETA Germany make the case:

1. Octopuses are great problem-solvers and have been shown to be the coconut-carrying geniuses of the sea. Would you keep Einstein in a cage?
2. In the wild, Paul would have the opportunity to show off his interior decorating skills. Octopuses have been known to collect shiny ornaments that they find on the sea floor and place them around their homes.
3. Paul could finally sleep. Octopuses like to siesta, and they might even dream, but it's hard to take a nap when people are pounding on your bedroom walls and shouting at you all day long.

Caring soccer and animal fans from all over the world would certainly celebrate the release of the World Cup's Most Valuable Octopus from his tiny, unnatural confines at the Sea Life center in Oberhausen. PETA Germany promises a vuvuzela-free celebration.

Written by Karin Bennett

Update: And we’ve got pics! Lemme know which design you like best for the suggested memorial.

After 122 years in business, the world's largest stockyard closed down last month, holding their very last livestock auction in front of a nostalgic crowd on April 11. After we had finished celebrating here in the office, we decided that, much as one might like to forget them, the actions of South St. Paul Stockyards—where around 300 million cows have been poked, prodded, kicked, and dragged to their deaths in the last century—need to be commemorated. Today, we sent a letter to Greg Miller—president of Interstate Partners, the company that plans to redevelop the stockyard property—urging him to erect a memorial to the animals who passed through the stockyard's gates. As PETA President Ingrid Newkirk puts it:

You can read PETA’s letter to Greg Miller here. I’ll let you know if we get a response.