waterlife / CC

Ever noticed that some old people smell funky? Notice that I said “some.” A New Scientist article released last week reports that the "funky old person" smell is a myth unless the over-40-something eats a fair amount of "seafood"—because of the long time accumulation of the unsaturated fatty acids contained in fish. Seems you are what you eat, so to speak, and consuming little fleshy fishy bits might make you smell a bit more like a not-so-fresh catch than a bed of roses.

This all came into question when a team of researchers in Japan (where almost everything but drinking water is prepared with fish) found a volatile chemical from perspiration on clothes worn by older participants in a sleep study. When U.S. researchers did a separate exercise study that didn’t use chronic fish-eaters, they did not come across this same compound. Analyzing both sets of data, researchers found that older study participants' sweat had more "stinky smell"—from metabolizing excess unsaturated fatty acids from the fish—than younger participants' sweat did.

To put it succinctly: Please don't eat fish, lest you grow up to be a smelly old person. (And if you do become such a person, please refrain from working out on the elliptical next to mine—you know who you are!)

So if you can't be motivated out of compassion for the sea animals who suffer immensely as they are hauled up from their aquatic homes to decompress or "drown" in the open air, please give up fish for the sake of the assisted living staff who will have to scrub your body some years from now.

Please, the fish—and the sponge-bathers—are counting on you!

Posted by Sean Conner

mediabistro / CC

Ordinarily, fall is literally the biggest time of year for fashion magazines. But this fall, the season has a more … shall we say … literal meaning—as in, it looks like Anna Wintour is tumblin' down. Or at least her ad pages are! Yes, it seems that these tough economic times have hit even the fashion industry.

The September issue of Vogue will no doubt be full of the usual "fashions" and more animal skins than the Queen of Mean can count on her two grubby hands. But what will not be in the issue, at least not in the U.S. edition of Vogue, is the usual hefty number of advertisements.

According to this story, last year's Vogue had 50 more advertisement pages than the 2008 edition will have. Translation: dollar signs are not in season.

Earlier this year, we even offered financial help to Aretha Franklin so that she could keep her house—granted she hand over the furs. And now we’re trying to help bail Anna out. If she would like to accept one of our advertisements to help her fill those empty pages, we’re here. Perhaps our beautiful Eva Mendes ad? Or, maybe our racy Joanna Krupa ad or even our sexy Imogen Bailey ad! How about a little memorial of Anna Nicole Smith?

In the past, our ads have not been welcome at Vogue. Anna is far too friendly with the fur industry which anally electrocutes animals and bodies wrapped in fur skinned off the backs of fully conscious animals to accept them, but perhaps the downturn in the economy will mark the upswing of the moral code at Vogue?

Posted by Jennifer Cierlitsky

Have you heard about former fashion writer Peter Braunstein, who has been accused of sexually assaulting a co-worker, and plotting to kill inamous fur hag Vogue editor Anna Wintour? Check out the story here; it’s wild stuff for sure. A psychologist for the defense told jurors that Braunstein is the most clinically textbook case of paranoid schizophrenia she had ever diagnosed, but I’ll tell you what, he appears to be pretty close to the truth when he assesses Wintour's character. Who else but an egotistical “skank” would continue to turn a blind eye to the suffering of animals killed for her many fur coats?

It’s time for Wintour to take a page from the book of her favorite designer. Miuccia Prada recently announced that she would no longer design with fur, saying she was “bored” with it. And I have to agree, nothing is quite so passé as torture, killing, and bloodshed—unless you’re a paranoid schizophrenic of course.

And just for posterity’s sake, I don’t think it’s right to mention Wintour’s name without showing this pic of her after getting a face full of tofu cream pie from an anti-fur activist in Europe.

Of course, the lawyers upstairs would like me to mention that I don’t condone the pie thing. In fact, I have no opinion of it all, I’m just reporting that it happened. There, happy Paula?