Reading Edward O. Wilson's novel Anthill has given Joan Rivers a new respect for ants. Here's what she told People magazine:

"Those poor ants work 24/7! And when they fight other ant colonies, to look bigger they stand on pebbles. 'I'll show you—I'm getting up on this grain of sand.' … They work their whole lives; it's so sad. Now I don't throw my sandwiches away; I put them on the streets. Let the ants have a little break. The other day I had half a hot dog, and I put it in a tree. This woman said, 'You're littering,' and I said, 'I'm feeding the ants!'"

Joan may be on to something here. In her honor, I am going to refrain from cleaning my kitchen counter*.

Written by Alisa Mullins

*Just kidding, Mom.

And we're talking tiny! Wilmer Valderrama, who never misses a moment to speak out against the abuse of elephants in circuses, is producing a new series called Bugging Out that explores the rainforest and it's most fascinating inhabitants: insects. Wilmer champions these misunderstood animals and urges viewers to respect them for the unique and important beings they are. Says Wilmer, "Walking out and looking at the big tree and the tarantula on the wall. You learn to leave them alone, appreciate each other's common grounds."

Since "teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar," we hope that others will follow Wilmer's lead and learn how easy it is to live in harmony with insects.

Written by Jennifer O'Connor

Phil Mickelson, the world's second-ranked golfer, recently stunned his fans by announcing that a) he's been diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis, a debilitating inflammatory disease of the joints and tendons that left him in so much pain that he could barely move, and b) he's turned to a mostly vegetarian diet to help ease the symptoms of his arthritis—and it's working!

How is Phil feeling about his new diet? "I've eaten some great stuff," he said. "Foods that I have always avoided I get to eat and it's been good." Here's hoping that Phil's arthritis doesn't give him any more trouble—and that the golf great keeps birdies on the course and off of his plate.

Written by Lindsay Pollard-Post

Here we go again—another creepy creation. This one was made by artist Jessica Harrison:

I'll give her this: I can see how she might find tiny flies' legs to be reminiscent of human eyelashes, but couldn't she just leave it at that? I mean, my rescued beagle Lulu, R.I.P., had ears that felt just like velvet, but that didn't inspire me to go around hacking off hounds' ears to make a beagle blazer.

Perhaps Harrison thought no one would care if she exploited flies? Wrong. After all, true compassion has no boundaries—besides, there's no good reason to wear animals—or insects.

Written by Karin Bennett

Apparently, some people have gotten so impatient when it comes to satisfying their hunger that they can no longer wait for someone to kill their food for them. "Exotic eaters" are resorting to eating live octopi, and it has sparked a lively PETA HQ debate, which I need your help to win.

Written by Logan Scherer

P.S. I have concluded (after minimal thought) that so-called "exotic eaters" and I have absolutely zilch in common. My definition of exotic tends to stray toward pyramids and belly dancers.

nps.gov / CC

Take a sound bite out of this recently discovered linguistic marvel: The barking language of prairie dogs may just be the most complicated language of any animal. Con Slobodchikoff—a biology professor at Northern Arizona University—studied their sounds very closely and found that the animals have different "words" to describe each of their many predators and that a single bark can convey information about the size, type, color, and location of an attacker. Slobodchikoff also discovered that, just as we all have distinct voices, every prairie dog has a unique tonal identity.

Um, first we found out that insects are tiny geniuses, then we learned that monkeys are sticklers for grammar, and now we've got these vocal powerhouses (on the prairie)—does Mensa admit animals?

Written by Logan Scherer

ace-clipart / CC

Bugs are fascinating, and if anyone tries to tell you different, have them check out this article, which offers proof that many insects are tiny geniuses who are capable of counting, categorizing objects, and recognizing human faces. Recent studies show that even though their brains are oh-so-teeny-tiny, ants, bees, and other braniac bugs are brilliant creatures. There is overwhelming evidence that brain size has no effect on intelligence and that in many cases a bigger brain is not a smarter brain.

One study shows that honeybees, whose behavioral abilities rival that of some vertebrates, can determine whether or not shapes are symmetrical, can classify objects according to sameness and difference, and will stop flying after passing a predetermined number of landmarks.

I bet if you tried you could think of a few humans who struggle with those three tasks. I've been known to have a little trouble with that last one, myself.

So the next time you see one of these clever critters, keep in mind their ingenious minds, and let them live their complex, profound lives. We've got just the thing to help you.

Written by Logan Scherer

newslib / CC

As a towheaded tyke in Dallas years ago (how many years ago I'm not saying), I loved nothing more than to visit Six Flags Over Texas. It seemed like an enchanted wonderland of whimsy and harmless thrills ….

Obviously, those days are long gone.

In a sure sign of desperation, Six Flags Inc.—whose stock has been performing so poorly that it's in danger of losing its listing on the New York Stock Exchange—has decided that the way to drum up business is to have park visitors eat bugs. We can only be glad that these financial geniuses weren't responsible for writing the recent bank bailout legislation, right?

Now, you may recall that Six Flags recently announced that it was going to end the horrible cockroach-eating stunts of the past couple of years during its Halloween-themed "Fright Fest." So, to pretend it's being true to its word, it's announced that it still won't use cockroaches this year—instead it'll offer other kinds of bugs to eat, such as "superworms, larvae, caterpillars, cicadas, night crawlers, crickets, and grasshoppers." Boy, that should make for some delightful childhood memories, huh?

When Six Flags originally announced the end of cockroach-eating, its public relations manager, Sue Carpenter, said, "We're on to other Fright Fest events that do not include any living creatures!" So, what's the dealie? Last we checked, crickets, caterpillars, and grasshoppers were living creatures—and not at all eager to be chewed up so some yahoo can have cuts in the rollercoaster line. Plus, it sends a dangerous message to kids that it's okay to harm others to get ahead.

As soon as we got wind of Six Flags' bait-and-switch nonsense, we wrote to its vice president of communications, Sandra Daniels, to express our outrage and offer another chance to do the right thing.

Written by Jeff Mackey

Don't worry, it's not Bruno! Dancing With the Stars judge Carrie Ann Inaba has launched her sexy new PETA ad. Carrie Ann's ad tells people, "Don't Miss a Step—Spay or Neuter Today!" and features her adorable cat companion, Shadow. I don't know about ya'll, but Carrie Ann is my fave judge on DWTS, and I was thrilled that she did this ad for PETA.

Not only is Carrie Ann supportive and kind to the Dancing contestants, she is also a great friend to animals. All three of her cats are rescues, and she strongly believes in spaying and neutering. Her compassion really makes this ad rock—oh, and the stilettos and fishnets aren't bad either!

Check out Carrie Ann's exclusive interview with PETA:

Thanks, Carrie Ann!

And since I know you're wondering—I'm voting Lance!

Written by Christine Doré