I'm kicking myself today because I ended up deciding not to watch the Daytona 500 this weekend after everyone I invited told me they'd rather watch paint dry. The only other person I know of here at work who's into car racing is Ingrid Newkirk, but you don't exactly call the big boss up on a Sunday morning and invite her round for a couple of sixers, some vegan bratwurst, and four hours of restrictor plate racing. Besides, Ingrid's big thing is Formula 1 (click here for more on that)—I don't know how she feels about stock cars. Anyway, it turns out that not only did I miss one of the most exciting races in NASCAR history, but a few of my colleagues actually got to go! Admittedly, they had to attend the event wearing nothing but skimpy yellow bikinis and spend the entire time holding signs and passing out faux chicken and anti-KFC leaflets to surprised NASCAR fans, but I totally would have done all that for a free ticket. OK, maybe not. Check it out though—the girls were a huge hit with everyone except the police.

Jennifer Lopez just had a screening of her new film, Bordertown, at the Berlin Film Festival, but she started crying when the crowd responded with loud boos. If Lopez wasn’t such a total fur hag, I just might feel sorry for her. But I really can’t believe just how warped her mind is—she cries because a few people boo her latest hideous movie, but she's totally unfazed by what she saw in this movie.

J-Lo: Crushed by boos...

And happily wearing the skins of tortured animals.

What I don’t understand is why the wannabe diva got so upset this time. She should certainly be used to bad reviews by now, and until she drops the fur, she may as well get used to her events not quite turning out the way she wants . . .

Man, so this year’s Oscar race for Best Actor is going to be a good one, and all of us at PETA are extra excited since two of the nominees have been active in our campaigns.

First off, we’ve got Ryan Gosling, who is nominated for his role as Dan Dunne in Half Nelson. Ryan helped us out with our KFC campaign by penning a letter urging the company to implement basic animal-welfare standards.

But I think the smart money is on Forest Whitaker for his portrayal of Ugandan dictator Idi Amin in The Last King of Scotland. The experience gained while shooting this pro-vegetarian PSA may just give him the edge he needs.

While writing this entry, I started thinking about some past Oscar winners who have helped PETA with our work over the years, and the ones I came up with were:

Charlize Theron, who got her statue in 2003 for her leading role in Monster. Charlize has helped PETA in numerous ways over the years, most notably by narrating a puppy mill exposé and posing for this beautiful anti-fur ad.

Kim Basinger, who won in 1997 for her role in L.A. Confidential. Kim shot an amazing “Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur” ad for us a while back, and has pitched in with numerous other campaigns over the years.

And last but not least is Jack Lemmon, who won in 1955 for his role in Mister Rogers and in 1973 for Save the Tiger. Jack was against animal testing and before his death in 2001, he wrote to Congress on PETA’s behalf to protest cruel cigarette smoking experiments on animals.

I know I just said “last but not least” but my celeb-obsessed cubicle-pod-mate Stephanie just told me that four of the last eight winners for best picture starred PETA pals as well. Judi Dench in Shakespeare in Love, Sexiest Vegetarian nominee Thora Birch in American Beauty, long-time PETA supporter Joaquin Phoenix in Gladiator and Dominic Monaghan in Lord of the Rings.

Damn, that’s a lot, huh?

Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve always been oddly fascinated with mannequins in store windows. As a kid I would wonder what they were thinking about, if they were looking at me, and what they do when the store closes and the lights go out . . . As an adult, however, I’ve always been much more fond of human mannequins, particularly when they are smearing “blood” on the front window of stores.

So imagine my surprise when I found out that just a little while ago that in Milan, Italy, three PETA Europe activists took over the Burberry store window there, to let the world know that Burberry tortures animals.

Did I mention that the entire fashion industry is in town for Milan Fashion Week and that this is Burberry’s flagship store? Oh man, I bet Burberry is bumming, especially after all the attention they’ve been getting worldwide . . .

***We now pause to satisfy the lawyers***

The suits upstairs want me to make a couple of things abundantly clear to you, dear reader. Firstly, please note that I am merely reporting that this event happened in Europe, and secondly, just in case it isn’t clear, let me state for the record that I do not support such activities.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

When Vanity Fair recognizes that the tide's turning, I guess it is, right? A friend of mine just sent me this cartoon from Vanity Fair magazine, and I'm not exactly sure what to say about it. It's kind of creepy but, um, cool, I guess . . .

Seeing that buffet of people parts reminded me that if you read Ingrid Newkirk’s will, you’ll see there are marked similarities. Not the least of which is that it is also kind of creepy but cool nonetheless.

About a year ago, I was part of a big brainstorming meeting where we came up with all these ideas for ads that we could make to draw attention to the suffering of chickens in factory farms that wouldn't be just, like, pictures of sad chickens. It was a great meeting, and we came up with a bunch of interesting stuff—ranging from funny to poignant to clever to (inevitably) just really weird. But after the meeting it sort of became clear that we'd just never have the time, money, or staff to turn all of the ideas we had into actual ads, market them, and get them out into the world. Which, you know, sad story and all, but the happy ending is that this year, the Young Guns Ad Agency held a competition for design students, advertising professionals, and artists around the world to make a compelling PETA ad about chickens. We've just announced the winners, and you can check out some of the other entries and vote for the "People's Choice" Award here. Here's one of the ads I liked:

Check out this new PETA Europe ad starring international R&B singer Jamelia. She's blowing up in the British music scene at the moment, so I'm really excited about this ad. Having been born in England myself, I love it when another local guy or gal makes it as big as I have in the music game . . .

My mates in the UK released the ad during London Fashion Week and it is making a huge splash all over the international press. My favorite quote so far:

I think I have a new crush . . . sorry Fernanda.

Back in 02/03, PETA conducted a 9-month investigation into a lab used by the Iams pet food company to "test" its food. During the investigation, we uncovered horrible abuse, including dogs gone crazy from intense confinement; dogs left piled on a filthy paint-chipped floor after having chunks of muscle hacked from their thighs; dogs surgically debarked; horribly sick dogs and cats languishing in their cages, neglected and left to suffer with no vet care.

Well, we’ve continued to work on the case and have just received very good news in a report from the USDA. The report confirms Animal Welfare Act violations that we found during our investigation, including:

• Untrained personnel performing animal experiments
• Failure to provide veterinary care and observe animals on a daily basis
• Caging facilities for dogs and cats so stifling that staff were unable to endure the ammonia levels
• Failure to provide animals with the minimum required space

The lab can now either admit to its wrongdoing and settle with the government or go through an Administrative Court proceeding.

I’ll keep you posted, as details become available, but in the meantime, remember to join these folks in the Iams boycott and only feed your dogs and cats food from cruelty-free companies.

We held a big press conference in our offices on Tuesday to discuss the allegations of two former Ringling employees, who recently contacted us to tell us about their firsthand experience of the circus's abusive treatment of animals. Both employees, who worked on the animal crew, told us they witnessed routine abuse behind the scenes, including a violent beating of an elephant which lasted 30 minutes. It was really nice to see some members of the media show up to hear about this breaking news—sad as it sounds, normally with this sort of thing we have to take all our clothes off (or at least show a little leg) to get some attention. But this is a great sign that people around the country are really starting to come round to the idea that animal circuses need to go the way of bear-baiting and cockfighting (there are only two states left that are still being ass-backwards about cockfighting) as something that was probably a really lousy idea in the first place.

A badger from the famous animation, modified slightly by our legal department

If you were alive and had access to the Internet a few years ago, someone probably sent you an annoying, yet utterly mesmerizing, Flash animation starring dancing badgers, a mushroom, and a snake slithering across the desert. The badger video has spawned countless imitations since it was released, driving legions of hapless Internet trawlers insane with its infuriating refrain. Well, those punk-rock, hopelessly in-touch trendsters over in PETA's youth division, peta2, recently put together their own little tribute to the badger phenomenon, featuring peta2's own Nugget, a KFC box with an X through it, and a friendly asparagus character instead of the snake. I'd love to show you the Nugget video now, but its release last week caused such an uproar over at Badger HQ in London, that we decided to take it down rather than anger the powerful British badger interests even more. I would have been kind of pissed at them about the whole thing (I really liked the parody peta2 made), if it weren't for this video that they put together to document the whole saga. If you're going to be this hilarious about it, badger dudes, how can I be mad atcha?