… to publicly thank The Pretty Reckless vocalist and Gossip Girl star for making the compassionate, responsible decision to have her pooch neutered.

It's no secret that we at PETA are nuts (geddit?) about the pluses of spaying and neutering—two safe, simple procedures that help to reduce the number of homeless dogs and cats.

So we at PETA would like to submit the following poem in Momsen's honor:

Oh, Taylor Momsen!
You're sure to see
A media spectacle
'Cause you lit your dog's (detached) testicles

But at PETA, we stand and applaud
The choice you made, it should be law
To neuter your friend
And help put an end
To the homelessness of millions who have paws

Written by Karin Bennett

So, Burger King has announced that it's releasing a cologne called "Flame." And no, it's not just for gay guys. They describe it as—get this—"the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat." Yeah, because there's nothing sexier than grilled flesh … but wait, Jeffrey Dahmer isn't with us anymore, so who is this for?

Well, PETA likes this idea but thinks it doesn't go far enough. Why start at the grill? That's why we are launching our own fragrance called "GORE," with the tagline "Eau de Mort!' Take just one whiff, and you'll be reminded of who they're cooking over there in fast-foodville (or wearing, in this case). What exactly does it smell like? Meat, naturally! And, for authenticity, our scent even includes a maggot in each bottle, just to make the experience realistic.

So, how do you feel about GORE? It'd make a lovely holiday gift for any suspected necrophiliac.

Written by Lianne Turner