Beachgoers in Fort Myers and Pensacola today got the envious privilege of being able to see planes hired by PETA flying up and down the shoreline towing signs reading "8 REASONS TO BOYCOTT KFC," and featuring a demonic, blood-soaked "Colonel Sanders" in the act of stabbing a chicken. So without further ado:

1. Being top-heavy is only cool for women
2. They do chickens wrong
3. Sometimes big bright packages contain dirty little secrets
4. Being scalded to death sucks
5. If Pam’s doing it, I want to do it too
6. Cheap food costs animals dearly
7. Those wings were broken when the chicken was still alive
8. The “secret recipe” involves de-beaking with a hot wire

I never got to see anything that fun when I lived in Pensacola, though there were a lot of orange people....

Posted by Sarah King

nytimes / CC

Let me recap for the irony-impaired: People who came to look at animals stuck in cages ended up stuck cages themselves.

For perhaps the first time since their capture (or births in captivity), the residents of the pens below the tram tracks had reason to feel grateful for their enclosures' sizes—they at least had walking room (albeit it nothing like freedom), while the human animals were confined to 4-by-5-foot boxes. On the other hand, the human animals had liberty and exercise of free will to look forward to, which was not the case for the Bronx Zoo's permanent "residents."

Some stranded patrons saw the connection, according to The New York Times, which ran the story.

One such visitor walked away with a better understanding of how the animals must feel: "You have no say in what happens to you. You lose all control," she told the Times. Another man said, "It's a good lesson to humanity. They're now afraid, they're now vulnerable. Humanity needs to learn humility. They're not masters of the universe. They're part of the natural world."

What bizarre role reversal will come next? Will meat kill people? Oh, wait ....

Posted by Sean Conner