Mitt Romney may have lost the election, but that doesn't mean he'll be eating crow. After hearing that the Republican runner-up was seen dining on a vegetarian breakfast burrito on the campaign trail and that the Romney family takeout order before the final presidential debate included two veggie burgers from a Florida BurgerFi restaurant, PETA is sending the Romney family a basket of vegan goodies. 

"Turns out the most reliable polls were those showing an increase in the number of people eating vegetarian and vegan foods," says PETA President Ingrid E. Newkirk.

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Whether you're commiserating with Romney, celebrating President Barack Obama's victory, or just thankful for the end of all those obnoxious campaign ads, you might want to surf on over to EatDrinkBetter.com, which is offering up some patriotic recipes that are as American as baseball and debates over which candidate had the best "Gangnam Style" viral video. You can sample Barackoli Obama Casserole, Mittloaf Romney, Joe Apple Pieden, and Paul Fryan Potatoes. All the recipes are 100 percent vegan—no shellacking of donkeys, elephants, or lame ducks required.    

Tampa, Florida, is crowded with "elephants," and Charlotte, North Carolina, will soon be filled with "donkeys" as Republicans and Democrats gather for their respective national conventions. But which real animal would win in a showdown between an elephant and a donkey? PETA takes stock of the competition:

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Physical prowess: Elephants are active for 18 hours a day and can travel up to 30 miles a day. But donkeys are no couch potatoes, either. They can run up to 30 miles per hour and are sure-footed on rocky mountain crags.

Compassion: Elephants wince when they see another elephant in pain, and an entire group will pitch in to help a mother elephant rescue her drowning baby. But donkeys are often prized companion animals because they are affectionate and are patient with children. Donkeys are also often tasked with watching over herds of sheep or goats.

Beauty: Standing up to 13 feet tall with trunks that can reach for 7 feet, elephants make for quite a majestic sight. Donkeys, the smallest members of the horse family, are beautiful in their own right, with soft coats of fawn, chocolate, red, or black fur and a graceful gait.

Intelligence: In an experiment to see if elephants could figure out that they had to work together, both pulling opposite ends of a rope, in order to move food close to them, the elephants not only succeeded but also figured out a shortcut that researchers hadn't thought of. Donkeys aren't short on smarts, either. Companion donkeys answer to their names, go for walks off leash, and can even learn to pull carts through obstacle courses.

Enjoying leisure time: Elephants like to cool off by using their trunks to spray water all over their bodies. They also flirt with other elephants they are interested in. Donkeys know how to relax, too, by finding a shady spot in which to curl up to escape the afternoon heat or rolling on their backs in the grass or dirt. Companion donkeys also love receiving treats and ear rubs.

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As close as it is, I think we have to call this one a tie. Please "cast your vote" in favor of protecting elephants by refusing to support circuses and zoos and protecting donkeys by opposing donkey basketball games and the roundup and slaughter of wild horses and donkeys. 

All animal abuse is despicable, but some abuses are so outrageously dumb and mind-blowingly cruel that I can only guess that they were thought up by drunk, heartless buffoons trying to "out-cruel" each other in a bar bet. Case in point:

"Entrepreneurs" in Southern Russia could face two years in jail for animal abuse after allegedly forcing a donkey to parasail over the Sea of Azov. Horrified beachgoers reported that the terrified donkey screamed nonstop—the animal was so high in the air that crying children asked why a "doggie" was tied to a parachute. But as a police spokesperson noted, "No one had the brains to call police."

The donkey's terrifying ordeal didn't end there: After crash-landing in the water, she was dragged behind a boat for several meters before she was finally pulled out of the water, barely alive.

Police are investigating the incident, which has made headlines all over the world and prompted an international outcry. Please make sure that officials at the Russian Embassy hear from you too.

Written by Karin Bennett