Staying up 'til the wee hours of the morning to catch your fave Olympians go for the gold in Beijing? That's cool. But what's even cooler is the fact that the best athletes in the world can be found in the animal kingdom, not the Olympic Village. If the Summer Olympics were open to all of the planet's species, humans probably wouldn't even have a shot at medaling—especially if they had to compete against these top five animal athletes:

5. Cows. Natural track and field stars, cows have been known to hurdle a 6-foot fence to escape from a slaughterhouse and trot 7 miles to reunite with calves sold at auction.

4. Ants. Known for their Herculean strength, ants can lift 20 times their own body weight. That's the equivalent of a 200-pound weightlifter bench pressing 4,000 pounds!

3. Cheetahs. The fastest land animal, cheetahs can reach speeds of up to 75 miles per hour. Able to accelerate faster than a Ferrari, cheetahs can go from 0 to 68 miles per hour in just 3 seconds.

2. Sharks. Frightfully fast, sharks are excellent swimmers thanks to scales covered with tiny teeth that enable water to flow smoothly over their bodies. Hoping to reduce drag and increase speed, many Olympic swimmers are now sporting swimsuits modeled after shark skin.

1. Chickens. Chickens know how to bend it like Beckham. Give a small round object to a group of chickens, and they'll happily pass it around, much like they're playing soccer.

Yep, chickens. Take that, all you live-animal markets! Speaking of China not exactly giving a cluck about animal protection (see also: fur farms), I say that we honor the true Olympic spirit of friendship and fair play by treating all animals like gold.

Written by Amy Elizabeth

You know what it's like—you get started with something, thinking you'll have just this one or do it just this once, and then you think, "One more wouldn't hurt, right?" And before you know it, it's all out of hand.

Of course, when I do it, I end up eating half a package of Newman-Os, not egging 400 people's houses and cars.

That's right—a couple in Pennsylvania have recently been charged with perpetrating an 18-month "egging spree" that resulted in $7,000 worth of damage.

This news article explains that the couple started egging because they "wanted to retaliate against friends for damages they said were inflicted upon them" but moved on to other targets to avoid suspicion.

Hate to break it to you (geddit?), but 400 targets might arouse a little suspicion, don't you think?

Now, the county's district attorney is urging the victims of the spree to come forward, saying, "We have an obligation under the law to seek to make them whole and to get restitution for them."

Sure, the people who had to wash their cars and hose down their driveways deserve "restitution." But let's take this further: What is washing your car compared to being crammed into battery cages and having your beak cut off with a hot wire?

When you think about it that way, aren't the hens the number one victims here?

We think that all the victims of this crime deserve restitution. For this reason, we've written a letter to the DA with a logical suggestion: It takes up to 34 hours for a hen to produce a single egg, and during that time, she isn't watching TV—she's crammed into a cage that doesn't allow her to take a step or stretch one wing, and she has to balance on wire and do her business on the backs of other birds. If the DA has an "obligation" to "get restitution" for the victims of this crime, wouldn't justice best be served by sentencing the perpetrators to 34 hours of community service in a vegan soup kitchen or doing bird rescues for each egg wasted? We think so!

Check out our letter to the DA:

The USDA just completed an investigation of a Butterball turkey slaughterhouse in Arkansas that confirmed PETA's findings of intentional cruelty to animals, including punching, kicking, and tormenting turkeys destined for slaughter. So what happens next? Well, not much, as far as the law’s concerned: Because there simply aren’t any federal legal protections for chickens and turkeys. None. The only thing that can be done is to take matters into our own hands and put pressure on places like Butterball to make changes that will benefit the animals they profit from. And, more importantly, boycott these companies by going vegetarian. Here’s the video of the Butterball supplier’s abuses:

It's not too often that you hear about a chicken who is the center of attention rather than the center of a dinner plate. That's why I was so psyched to run across this article about Mr. Joy. A therapy chicken who visits assisted-living centers around Charlotte, North Carolina, Mr. Joy totally digs it when people pet and coo over him. And from the sound of it, people totally dig this cock-a-doodle dude too!

Also a patron of the arts and an animal rights activist (I kid you not), Mr. Joy and his adopted mom, Alisha Tomlinson, are on a mission not only to spread cheer but also to spread the message that chickens are smart, interesting animals who don't deserve to be turned into nuggets.

In fact, when he's not working the rest-home circuit or kicking it with his two wives in their spacious coop condo; he can usually be found in the parking lot of a fast-food restaurant. Sticking up for all his fallen peeps who have been abused, butchered, battered, and thrown into buckets, Mr. Joy charms the crowd from the safety of the car while his mom hands out leaflets about factory farming.

Want more Joy? Check out his Web site here. On a more comical note, check out a video showing Mr. Joy getting the beauty-shop treatment below:

-Amy

Posted by Amy Elizabeth

Father's Day is this coming Sunday, and I am absolutely certain that most people reading this are still procrastinating about buying their gift or planning their day. The good people at PETA (read: I) put together this list of some of the best things to do with or for Dad this year, so you really have no excuse to just buy a card or issue a pile of IOUs for mowing the lawn.

10. Get Dad a nonleather belt or wallet. You can find great alternatives at Eddie Bauer, Timberland, Vans, or just about any other retailer or online shopping site imaginable.

9. Clean up Dad's home office or the garage. He's got more important things to do on Father's Day than stand among his clutter and play "find the floor." For advice on what your weapons of choice in this endeavor should be, go through our list of cruelty-free companies.

8. Put together a gift basket full of small treats for Dad. Consider throwing in some homemade or store-bought vegan cookies, meat-free jerky strips, and a new coffee mug (I'm partial to this one) filled with a bag of shade-grown coffee. The best thing about gift baskets is that they're very do-it-yourself, so get creative!

7. Go back to basics and get Dad a nice, silk-free tie: the staple of Father's Day gifts. You can find polyester or other synthetic fibers everywhere, so get Dad an accessory not made from insect cocoons (barf!).

6. Dog lovers can go grab a picnic lunch and a few four-legged friends and head to the dog park. Although any safe spot with a patch of grass, water, and a Frisbee will do, you should check our list of the best dog parks in the country in case you're lucky enough to be within driving distance to any of them.

5. Help Dad fight the battle against scruff with a shaving kit from Jack Black. None of their products is tested on animals, and many are completely free of animal-derived ingredients. They've even put out an amazing shave brush made of synthetic materials for men who aren't fond of rubbing their faces on a big mound of badger hair.

4. Bust out the grill! There are a ton of animal-free grilling options that he'll happily devour. My Dad is crazy about mushrooms, but faux meats such as veggie burgers are a simple, foolproof fallback for the inexperienced chef.

3. If you're intimidated by open flames, propane, or the thought of expending effort, take Dad out to lunch or dinner. You can find vegetarian options at pretty much any chain restaurant. No muss, no fuss, and no second-degree burns.

2. Your dad should love absolutely anything made by Herban Cowboy. I found their all-natural soap at an organic grocer and spent a solid 10 minutes sniffing it through the packaging before employees started to stare. Guys, be sure to buy one for yourself too.

1. Sports fans can head to the ballpark. More and more baseball stadiums (and other venues) are carrying veggie dogs so that you can go enjoy the traditional pastime without all the cholesterol and general nastiness of eating a tube of flesh of unknown origin.

-Sean

Posted by Sean Conner

I love this.

There’s more info on the exotic skins industry here.

Deflocked, baby. Deflocked.

Click for a larger version

To check out the archives of past strips, click here.

Sometimes it’s kind of hard for people to make the connection between their pets and the animals they eat, so here are some masks our Production department made to help with that. What do you think?

In case you haven't heard of him, Tom Regan is a philosophy professor at NC State who has been one of the most important and compelling advocates for animal rights in the academic world since early on in the movement. His clarity of expression and his passion for the subject make his thinking accessible to anyone—whether they've studied philosophy or not—and this video, which I discovered recently on YouTube, is a great example of Professor Regan's prodigious abilities, both as a thinker and as an advocate for animals.

The excerpt is from a debate that took place in 1989 for the BBC—it's well worth watching and passing around to friends who may be new to the philosophy behind animal rights.