missbakerbiologyclass / CC

A female manatee and her nine suitors made quite a splash on Sunday night for some beachgoers in Miami. The sea cows' amorous affair turned into a sort of seaside peep show.

Ah, horny manatees. Conan O'Brien loves 'em, and after a late night tryst of that, ahem, magnitude, is it any wonder why? They are vigorous vegetarian lovers, after all.

In fact, I'd like to think the manatees came ashore to demonstrate their vegetarian vitality to onlookers and inspire them to rev up their love lives by swapping steak for seitan and cows' milk for soy milk. After all, a vegetarian diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains helps keeps the blood flowing through all the arteries.

Say, "So long, Viagra!" and "Viva, veggie Viagra!"

Conan O'Brien, if you're out there—we'll keep our eye out for more manatee love sessions, and you just let us know if you need info to include on your Web site.

Written by Karin Bennett

Back in November, we were taken aback to learn that Mexico City Mayor Marcelo Ebrard planned a citywide initiative to improve residents' sex lives by distributing free Viagra to elderly men suffering from impotence. We sent a letter to let him know that most men don't need to pop pills to get some afternoon delight: They simply need to adopt a purely vegetarian diet.

Here's the response from the Mexican government:

So, Viagra might be a temporary fix—if you don't count the side effects, which can range from very uncomfy and embarrassing nether regions to a full-blown heart attack—but adopting a vegetarian lifestyle is the best long-term medicine for long, lonely nights. A vegan diet can immediately start reducing your risk of the main causes of impotence: clogged arteries to your organs. Not to mention that a healthy, vegan diet also makes for a leaner physique and increases overall energy, which can make you more attractive, gentlemen!

Yes, I think it's true: Vegetarians so have better sex!

Written by Liz Graffeo

Play Girl Mag / CC

 

Some cities pass out free meals; others provide free vaccination services during the cold months or weather-emergency kits during hurricane season. Mexico City passes out free Viagra.

Wait … what?!

Seriously. Mexico City Mayor Marcelo Ebrard has planned a citywide distribution of Viagra to elderly men, aged 70 and above, who suffer from the mojo-busting health problem known as male impotence. City officials hope the free service will boost the sexual health of elderly folks, consequently making them happier and healthier.

Health is important, no doubt. But, the mayor's plan has one elephant-sized flaw that needed to be addressed. So, we sent this letterand a copy of our "Vegetarian Starter Kit" (which is filled with cruelty-free and organ-healthy recipes directly to him, letting him know that the simplest way to combat impotence let-downs isn't by popping pills—it's by going vegetarian! To the mayor we say, put down the pills and promote a diet rich in colorful veggies to your city instead.

A diet consisting of animal flesh, milk, and dairy products can clog arteries and increase cholesterol levels. That's some seriously scary stuff. Even scarier, clogged arteries and high cholesterol are among the most commonly diagnosed causes of male impotence as well as obesity, certain types of cancer (including prostate cancer), and diabetes. Luckily, a vegan diet can help reduce or prevent these ailments! So, why pop a pill for a night of happiness when simply switching to a vegetarian diet can trigger a lifetime of health and happiness?

Written by Jennifer Cierlitsky

If I hear that annoying "Viva Viagra" song one more freakin' time, I'm seriously going to stop watching football on TV. Judging by the number of Viagra commercials that are assaulting the airwaves during televised NFL games, quarterbacks aren't the only ones fumbling in the sack. That's why we're trying to erect our "Veggie Viagra" billboard in cities with NFL teams, starting with Kansas City.

Not to be a Monday morning quarterback, but if Chief fans want to score before, during, or after Sunday night football, all they have to do is bench the barbecue and burgers and load up on dee-lish vegetarian tailgating party picks instead. After all, what goes on in the kitchen has a lot to do with what goes on—or doesn't—in the bedroom.

Why can't carnivores keep up with the "Johnsons"? The cholesterol in meat, eggs, and dairy products causes hardening of the arteries, slowing the flow of blood to all vital organs—not just the heart. Vegetarians, on the other hand, save 100 animals every year and have sex about 100 times a month. I'm kidding about the sex part. It could be more.

 

 

Written by Amy Elizabeth

A decade ago, aging men went flying off their rockers to grab a bottle of those little blue Viagra pills. Now, news stories are practically screaming that there's a pill for women—and we're not talking about birth control. We're talking about Viagra—the so-called genie in a bottle for those suffering from sagging sexual energy. This story boasts that Viagra increases sexual satisfaction for women—who often suffer from a decreased libido because of anti-depressant medications.

Sorry to burst happy bubbles everywhere, but here's the downer: Viagra is not always effective. Up to 40 percent of men who take Viagra report no result at all. We firmly believe that no one should have to live an unsatisfying life. If you're looking for a good time in the bedroom, you can improve your satisfaction tenfold by making a few simple changes in the kitchen.

Obesity, diabetes, high cholesterol, prostate cancer, and hormonal imbalances are just some of the health problems that cause male impotency. Ditching artery-clogging meat and dairy products—and eating a diet rich in leafy greens, fruits, and grains—will lift your mood, get you back into action, and get your blood pumping to all the right locations.

So whether you're a wannabe manly man or a wannabe Mata Hari, pick up a banana and put down the prescription pills. Vegetarians do make better lovers. And you know what else we make? Some pretty darn cool ads! Here are PETA's top 10 impotence ads:

10. A Vegetarian Lover Gives You Something to Wake Up For—Last night was great, but there's nothing like rekindling the fire with some morning wood.

9. Rude Food—Nothing compares to hooking up with a really, really hot dish …

8. Santa's Not Coming This Christmas—Ho, ho—oh no! "Jolly St. Nick" can't get his jollies 'cuz milk's made his mojo a no-go.

7. Kevin Eubanks Vegetarian Testimonial—The juicy confessional of a former "World's Sexiest Vegetarian"

6. I Threw a Party but the Meat-Eaters Couldn't Come—Leaving a beautiful girl in a red-white-and-blue bikini standing there holding a limp sausage? Well, that's just un-American!

5. Tofu Wrestling—Everyone knows that ladies love extra-firm soy and extra-firm boys. Here's proof that tofu is so freakin' cool that bikini-clad beauties will wrestle over it in a kiddy pool.

4. Three Stages of a Wiener—Three more reasons to skip the wieners for a watermelon salad

3. PETA's Make-Out Tour—Who can turn away from a sexy couple engaged in some passionate PDA on the pavement? Plus, it's got a much better soundtrack than that annoying "Viva Viagra" song.

2. Eating Meat Got You Down?—It takes a "stiff" competitor to bed a babe. There's nothing sadder than when a guy realizes he just can't keep up with the "Johnsons" anymore.

1. Sexy Sausage Ad (Director's Cut)—In a business where talent is measured in inches, what's a porn director to do when his meat-head star goes soft? Luckily, a hot vegan guy shows up to turn this Super Bowl party into a sausage fest.

Posted by Jennifer Cierlitsky