Why must every American president shoot the obligatory "and here I am chowing down on a burger" photograph? Best bet? To please the meat lobby and because of the old-fashioned idea of what "being American" is all about: no falafel; it's red meat and guns for me. Mr. Obama is no exception, often deliberately choosing hot dogs and burgers for his photo ops with visiting heads of state.

Well, the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (PCRM) has taken the POTUS to task for promoting foods that are known to contribute to the obesity epidemic in the U.S. and that have been linked to cancer. PCRM has started a petition asking the White House to ban staged photos that show the president, the first family, the vice president, or the president's Cabinet eating unhealthy foods such as processed meats.

You can sign the petition and ask the pres to set a good example for Americans by eating healthy food. Some Obama Oatmeal With Presidential Peaches sounds nice.

PETA promotes and educates the public on the benefits of a vegetarian diet. PETA does not directly or indirectly participate in any political campaign on behalf of or in opposition to any candidate for public office.

PETA U.K.'s dead-serious anti-obesity billboard is stirring up some weighty controversy:

PETA U.K. erected the billboard near a new mortuary in Gloucester built especially to accommodate obese corpses. Oddly, the U.K.'s National Obesity Forum labeled the ad as "irresponsible," although the group didn't say what exactly it objected to. We're not sure why an obesity-awareness group would take issue with a billboard that aims to help people deal with obesity pre-coffin, but protesters ripped down part of the sign (unhelpfully revealing an ad for chips—or French fries to us in the U.S.).

Isn't an obesity-awareness group's protest of an obesity-awareness sign somewhat akin to Shopaholics Anonymous holding meetings at the mall?

If you always have a sleepless night after watching a horror movie, you might want to think twice before sitting down to a meal of dead bodies. Here's why meat is more dangerous than an ax-wielding maniac:

There's something deadly in the water.

If you're still eating fish despite the dangers of mercury, might I suggest that you may also enjoy a summer job at Camp Crystal Lake?

The hormones will get you every time

As every randy teenage slasher-flick victim can attest, hormones can be deadly. Hormones in meat can cause all sorts of unsexy conditions, such as "moobs." Which leads me to number three …

Which would you rather have a standoff with?

Eating meat causes impotence. Given their druthers, I think a lot of men would opt instead for the hockey mask–wearing serial killer.

The chubby guy always gets it.

That's another good reason not to ingest all the saturated fat that meat contains.

It's getting hard to breathe.

Find yourself short of breath when you hear that ominous theme music ("Ki-ki-ki-ma-ma-ma")? The toxic gasses and bacteria that wind spreads from factory farms make it even more difficult to inhale.

Stay out of the woods.

Do you ever shout, "Why are you running into the woods?!" when some moron is being chased by a psycho? People in real life do dumb things that lead to their untimely demise, too, like eating meat, eggs, and dairy products even though bad diets are to blame for one-third of all cancer deaths. 

Farms are generally good to avoid, too.

Have you seen PETA's slasher movie that features video footage from chicken farms? If you're too chicken … don't eat chicken.

A knife isn't the only thing that will stop a heart.

Heart disease caused by diets high in artery-clogging animal products will do the trick, too.

What kills a killer?

In Friday the 13^th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Voorhees is finally done in by toxic waste in the sewers. If the kids had only gotten him into one of the waterways polluted with factory-farm runoff, he would've been a goner a lot sooner.

The killer always comes back to life.

Meat's got its own resilient killer: antibiotic-resistant bacteria caused by the overuse of antibiotics on factory farms.

Freddy vs. Jason

Between meat and dairy products, trying to choose which is more deadly is like trying to decide which serial killer you want to take a weekend getaway with.

Guess what's hiding behind the barn door.

Poo. And lots of it. Yeah, it gets in meat, too.

Death … and taxes

Maybe the worst thing about how deadly meat is, is that we actually have to pay for it—both at the check-out counter and in the form of government subsidies. I mean, at least when Jason is swinging a machete, he's not simultaneously asking for your wallet—am I right?

Slash your risk of getting killed off early by running from meat as if your life depended on it. (But don't go running through the woods. That's never a good idea.)

The number of cases of swine flu and E. coli is on the rise, reminding us that the dangers of factory-farm–bred pathogens and meatborne illnesses have become impossible to ignore. The most recent E. coli outbreak, which killed two people and sickened dozens more, has been traced directly to the New York–based ground beef producer Fairbank Farms—which recalled more than 545,000 pounds of meat on October 31.

In the wake of this deadly outbreak, we're launching our "Meat Kills" billboard to let New Englanders know that the safest thing to do with meat is to throw it out:

Meatborne illness is just one symptom of a very sick and cruel industry. The threat of E. coli infection, listeriosis, campylobacter infection, and other bacterial infections is only the beginning of the devastating health effects of eating the dead, rotting flesh of a tormented animal. Research has shown that vegetarians are 50 percent less likely to develop heart disease, and their chance of getting cancer is 40 percent lower than that of meat-eaters. Plus, meat-eaters are nine times more likely to be obese than vegans are.

It's obvious that the best thing anyone can do for his or her health is to ditch the deadly meat and adopt a vegan diet. So what are you waiting for?

Written by Liz Graffeo