redfishbluefish / CC

We were appalled when the Los Angeles Department of Animal Services terminated a crucial program that assists low-income residents by offering coupons for free spaying and neutering of their animal companions.

Thankfully, city officials woke right up after the tremendous outcry from local residents, and the city of Los Angeles is once again doing its part to curb the companion animal overpopulation crisis.

That's a smart move, Los Angeles.

It must be really difficult to defend the elimination of a spay-and-neuter program when millions of homeless animals are running through the streets dodging cars, evading cruel humans, and enduring extreme weather conditions—let alone pumping out litter after litter of babies.

As anyone who works in the animal protection field knows, spay-and-neuter programs are essential for getting at the core of the animal overpopulation crisis. When 6 to 8 million homeless animals are dropped off at animal shelters every year, finding homes just isn't good enough. The key is prevention—and spaying and neutering, my friends, is the answer.

Written by Jennifer Cierlitsky

squirrelunderpants / CC

Our friends at PETA Europe are fed up with how "culling animals" is hailed as a solution to so-called population "crises." The latest proposal comes from Scotland, where plans are in place to conduct a £1.3 million cull (read "mass slaughter") of the gray squirrel population. To satisfy everyone's needs—both the Scots' and the squirrels'—PETA Europe has come up with a humane alternative.

Squirrel underpants.

The idea for the teeny-tiny tighty-whities wasn't PETA Europe's—the kudos goes to the Squirrel Underpants Company. But PETA Europe is urgently calling for squirrel lovers everywhere to help it purchase thousands of pairs of those pants, which are specially made to fit squirrels, so that the mischievous little creatures will find it exceedingly difficult, if not impossible, to mate. Call them chastity pants, if you so wish.

Gray squirrels were introduced to the U.K. from the U.S. in the 19th century and have since been blamed for decimating the population of native red squirrels. But, in actuality, deforestation, epidemic diseases and harsh winters have all had an effect on red squirrels' numbers (not to mention hunters, who, let's face it, were killing them for bounties long before gray squirrels even arrived in Britain).

"The idea of exterminating millions of friendly and adaptable bushy-tailed squirrels is madness," says PETA Europe Director Robbie LeBlanc. "We want Americans also to help buy squirrel underwear and so stave off a Scottish attack on these little animals, as, after all, this is the peaceful solution to a problem that they created!" Mee-oww!

Written by Shawna Flavell

greglasley / CC

While the Western cottonmouth usually preys on small warm-blooded animals, this spring, during mating season, these venomous snakes may be going after a different type of quarry: small-minded, cold-blooded Missouri duck hunters.

Rumor has it that water blinds (duck hunters' huts that are camouflaged to look like the water) in Oregon, Howell, Carter, Pulaski, Phelps, Wayne, Pemiscot, Mississippi, Scott, and Stoddard counties have been sprayed with the pheromones of female cottonmouths. The pheromones, taken from excrement evacuated from the cottonmouth's cloacal chamber, are guaranteed to attract aggressive males looking for some tail. I'm not a herpetologist, but I'm guessing that these randy reptiles are going to be pretty ticked-off when their booty call turns out to be a couple of dudes dressed like bushes.

So how can duck hunters avoid being bitten or, God forbid, part of a coital coil? We suggest that they hang up hunting and consider taking up golf or baseball instead. If they don't, then I agree with my friend and PETA's waterfowl specialist Hans Offdemall when he says, "PETA opposes gun violence, so when a 250-pound man hides on the water so that he can blow to pieces one of a bonded pair of 1-pound birds, we think that he should get a taste of his own medicine."

Written by Amy Elizabeth